IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people think that a good diet and exercise are not necessary for a health and long life. What extend do you agree or disagree?

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Nowadays,
people
Use synonyms
 more care about their health. The trend moves to having a healthy life as a lifestyle. I completely agree a good nutrition and
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
exercise
Use synonyms
 are important
part
Fix the agreement mistake
parts
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to maintain
Change preposition
of maintaining
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 health.
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
currently
Add a comma
currently,
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people
Use synonyms
 realize to maintain their healthiness they
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
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need to start from the basic thing which is the food that they consume daily.
People
Use synonyms
 need to calculate how
much
Correct quantifier usage
many
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calories
Use synonyms
 they need to maintain a good metabolism for their body.
For example
Linking Words
, as we know BMR is one of
tools
Add an article
the tools
show examples
 to calculate how
much
Correct quantifier usage
many
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calories
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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we need
everyday
Replace the word
every day
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 based on our age, weight and
our
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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height. If someone wants to
losing
Change the verb
lose
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 weight, they need to cut
few
Correct article usage
a few
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calories
Use synonyms
 from
total
Correct article usage
the total
show examples
 BMR they need, if they want to gain weight they just need to eat more
calories
Use synonyms
 from
total
Correct article usage
the total
show examples
 BMR they need.
Moreover
Linking Words
, to maintain their diet, they just need to focus
in cut
Change preposition
on cutting
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 or
add
Wrong verb form
adding
show examples
calories
Use synonyms
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, having a good diet is important.
However
Linking Words
, our body
also
Linking Words
need
Change the verb form
needs
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 to be more active, so
exercise
Use synonyms
 is one of
important
Correct article usage
the important
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activity
Fix the agreement mistake
activities
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 to do. By doing
exercise
Use synonyms
 we can maintain our health muscles and heart rate with cardio activities.
Those
Change the determiner
That exercise
Those exercises
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exercise
Use synonyms
 will help
people
Use synonyms
 to maintain
healthiness
Replace the word
health
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,
Remove the comma
apply
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 and to prevent some diseases
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
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 heart disease, stroke and hernia nucleus lumbar.
To sum up
Linking Words
, both diet and
exercise
Use synonyms
playing
Wrong verb form
play
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 a vital role
to help
Change preposition
in helping
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people
Use synonyms
 prevent them
to have
Change preposition
from having
show examples
 critical diseases.
In addition
Linking Words
, if they want to live longer, they need to focus
maintaining
Change preposition
on maintaining
show examples
 their healthy lifestyle.

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coherence and cohesion
Be sure to elaborate more on your ideas and make clear connections between points. This will help improve the logical flow of the essay.
task achievement
Strengthen your examples and explanations to enhance the overall clarity and depth of your argument.
task achievement
You have a clear opinion on the topic and a structured approach to your argument.
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