IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people think that it is a waste of time for high school students to study literature, such as novels and peoms. To what extend do you agree and disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Majority
Correct article usage
The majority
show examples
 of people believe that
study
Replace the word
studying
show examples
literature
Use synonyms
 for high school students is a depletion of time. I disagree with
this
Linking Words
 point of view and believe that learning novels and poems
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 a good source of
enhance
Wrong verb form
enhancing
show examples
 their
knowledge
Use synonyms
 and
understand
Wrong verb form
understanding
show examples
 the moral values. To commence with the point of
career
Use synonyms
 opportunities .
By reading
Change preposition
Reading
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
books related to the
literature
Use synonyms
 helps them to enhance their vocabulary and writing skills which will be beneficial
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 if they want to pursue their
career
Use synonyms
 in
writing
Correct article usage
the writing
show examples
 and
music
Correct article usage
the music
show examples
 industry .
For example
Linking Words
, In
India
Add a comma
India,
show examples
 a report was published by Hindustan
times
Capitalize word
Times
show examples
 in 2013 which showed almost 60%
students
Change preposition
of students
show examples
 had no interest in continuing their education after high level school and
make
Wrong verb form
making
show examples
 their
career
Use synonyms
 in writing and singing as they learnt more about
literature
Use synonyms
 during their schooling years. Another considering factor is
broaden
Fix the infinitive
to broaden
show examples
 their
knowledge
Use synonyms
horizontal
Change the word
horizontally
show examples
. Learning
literature
Use synonyms
 is a good source of
overall
Linking Words
 mental development. They can get a lot of information about the writers of poems or novels. Children will
also
Linking Words
 be able to increase their interest
about
Change preposition
in about
show examples
 learning their past lives.
Therefore
Linking Words
 by doing all these activities they will
able
Add a missing verb
be able
show examples
 to participate in different
kind
Fix the agreement mistake
kinds
show examples
 of quizzes or competitions and work hard to win them. So that will be
proud
Add an article
a proud
show examples
 moment
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the institution and parents as well.
For
Linking Words
instance
Add a comma
instance,
show examples
 a survey was held by Punjabi University in 2009 in which they involved different schools and found that Students of those schools have more
knowledge
Use synonyms
 about the editors of
literature
Use synonyms
 as compared to those who do not
taught
Change the verb form
teach
show examples
literature
Use synonyms
 to their peers.
To conclude
Linking Words
, I believe that learning
literature
Use synonyms
 with their studies is a good source of
sharpe
Correct your spelling
sharpening
 their
knowledge
Use synonyms
 and
able
Correct word choice
allowing them
show examples
 to find
career
Use synonyms
 paths in the same field.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence and cohesion
Try to improve the clarity of your arguments by breaking them down into clearer points and elaborating on them more fully.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting details that relate directly to the thesis statement.
task achievement
Expand your examples and include more specific details to strengthen your argument and provide clearer evidence.
task achievement
The essay presents a clear thesis statement, which reflects your opinion on the topic.
task achievement
The inclusion of examples from studies adds relevancy to your arguments.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: