In some countries, the number of shooting massacres is on the rise because many people have guns at home. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

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Nowadays,many people believe
to keep
Change preposition
that keeping
show examples
guns
Use synonyms
at home is the best solution to keep
themselve
Correct your spelling
themselves
safe from the certain rise of criminal activities . I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
and going to
further
Linking Words
elucidate my point in
upcoming
Add an article
an upcoming
show examples
essay. As per
the
Correct article usage
a
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recent
survey
Add a comma
survey,
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the amount of crime shoots like a rocket these days and the major reason behind
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
robbery,murder
etcetra
Correct your spelling
etcetera
is because of ease
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
buying
guns
Use synonyms
.To keep
themselve
Correct your spelling
themselves
safe from criminals the rate of purchasing arms is
increased
Wrong verb form
increasing
show examples
day by day.
As per the
Change preposition
The
show examples
recent gun data report revealed that 80% of the general civilians have
guns
Use synonyms
at their
home
Fix the agreement mistake
homes
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, Jealousy and inflation
is
Verb problem
apply
show examples
the
another
Correct quantifier usage
other
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major
cause
Fix the agreement mistake
causes
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which increase these numbers on
the
Correct article usage
a
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regular basis. Peers do not want to see
others
Change noun form
others'
other's
show examples
success and achievement which
somewhere
Rephrase
somehow
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hurts their ego and
result
Correct article usage
the result
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is murder.
Moreover
Linking Words
, inflation apparently
cause
Change the verb form
causes
show examples
unemployment ,
no
Correct word choice
and no
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jobs,no food may lead
an
Change preposition
to an
show examples
irritaion
Correct your spelling
irritation
in their mind. For
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
instance, in Shrilanka lack of
job
Fix the agreement mistake
jobs
show examples
and no opportunities for survival in
nation
Correct article usage
the nation
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increase the shooting activities drastically.
To conclude
Linking Words
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
,
guns
Use synonyms
are assets indeed if it is used as a safety weapon in difficult
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
.
Nonethless
Correct your spelling
Nonetheless
,it is one of the dangerous
weapon
Change to a plural noun
weapons
show examples
which
cause
Change the verb form
causes
show examples
unecessary
Correct your spelling
unnecessary
harm to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
living human beings and animals as well.

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coherence and cohesion
Enhance the clarity of your arguments and ensure each paragraph focuses on a single idea that supports your main point. Consider using topic sentences to improve structure.
task achievement
Provide more specific examples and details to substantiate your claims more effectively. This will help strengthen your argument and make your essay more convincing.
general
Review your language for grammatical accuracy and clarity. Focus on improving sentence structure and eliminating spelling errors, which will enhance readability.
task achievement
You present a clear personal opinion on the topic, which is important for task achievement.
coherence and cohesion
Your introduction sets the stage for the discussion, indicating your agreement with the statement.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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