Many museums charge for admission, while others are free. Do you think the advantages of charging people for admission to museums outweigh the disadvantages?

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Many
museums
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charge for
admission
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,
while
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others do not. I personally believe that
while
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offering
admission
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free of
cost
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allows the public to visit
meseums
Correct your spelling
museums
without any fees, the drawbacks of
this
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outweigh the benefits because it puts a huge financial strain on the
government
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. If
museums
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are free, individuals will get
admission
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to the
museums
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free of
cost
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. It will enable people from all economic backgrounds to witness the valuable stuff from the past free of
cost
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and obtain knowledge.
For example
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, in Bhutan, all
museums
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are completely free, and the public and even students can visit those
museums
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and
earn
Verb problem
gain
show examples
knowledge about them.
However
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, I personally believe that if people do not pay for
museums
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, it will put
financial
Add an article
a financial
the financial
show examples
burden on the
government
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because
museums
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are expensive. The state will encounter a large financial pressure
,
Remove the comma
apply
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if the public
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
free access to
museums
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.
Maintenance
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expenses of
museums
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are so high and if the public
do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
not share
this
Linking Words
maintenance
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cost
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, the state should bear all
those
Correct determiner usage
the
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spendings
Fix the agreement mistake
spending
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. If it puts much pressure on the
government
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, the
government
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might neglect that responsibility.
As a result
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,
those invaluable museum stuff
Change the determiner
that invaluable museum stuff
show examples
, which requires proper
maintenance
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and preservation will not receive that.
For instance
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, in Bangladesh many
museums
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are free and because of the funding issue of the
government
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, the valuable stuff
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
not getting proper
maintenance
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.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I personally believe that
museums
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should not be free, and the public should access them with
admission
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fee
Fix the agreement mistake
fees
show examples
to share the
finanacial
Correct your spelling
financial
loads of the
government
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. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
free
museums
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allow people from all economic backgrounds to visit, I personally think that the downsides
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
outweigh the advantages because it usually puts financial pressure on the
government
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.

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task achievement
Consider expanding your arguments further and addressing potential counterarguments to strengthen your position.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure consistent spelling and grammatical accuracy, e.g., 'museums' instead of 'meseums'.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to connect your points more explicitly with linking phrases to improve the flow of your essay.
task achievement
You have identified the main arguments clearly and provided relevant examples to support your views.
coherence and cohesion
Your structure is generally logical, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Admission fee
  • Revenue stream
  • Maintenance
  • Overcrowding
  • Commercialization
  • Cultural heritage
  • Diverse attendance
  • Community ownership
  • Access to culture
  • Visitor experience
  • Exhibit quality
  • Cultural mission
  • Reliance on funding
  • Government subsidies
  • Cultural accessibility
What to do next:
Look at other essays: