In the past, sporting champions used to be motivated primarily by the desire to win a match or to break world records. These days, they are more likely to be motivated by prize money and the opportunity to be famous. What messages does this send to young people and how does this attitude to sport affect the sports themselves? Give reasons for your answers.

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Recently
i
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I
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have noticed that the sport community
dose
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does
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not have the spirit
as
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apply
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they were in the
last
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ten years, they used to play with
there harts
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their hearts
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, like
there
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their
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life
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depends on the game if
i
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might say, and as a football
fan
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fan,
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i
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would say especially at football.
To begin
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with,
i
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would mention that
the
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apply
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jobs in a
sport
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sports
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world like basketball or football are
dufcult
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difficult
and it is absolutely not easy to
becoming
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become
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a professional in it, but if you have the
pastion
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passion
for it and the time I believe you should go for it, I don't find a money motive is
wrong
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a wrong
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thing but
i
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would not recommend to
inter
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enter
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this
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world with just being motivated by the prize because you would not bare the hard days with it, I believe you need to love it to make a good career out of it.
On the other hand
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,
i
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strongly agree that it
is goes
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is going
is gone
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by both sides , the awful accidents that happen in
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preteceral
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pretectal
envirment
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environment
is
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are
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super dangerous,
such
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as boxing, there is a lot of
professional
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professionals
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that
lost
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lose
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there
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their
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life
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at the Mach or
lost
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lose
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there
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their
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ability to walk or speak and live there
normall
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normal
normally
life
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, they spend
there
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their
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rest of
life
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ether in a
weelchire
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wheelchair
or in bed most of there
life
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at
hospital
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the hospital
a hospital
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. To sum it up, being in
sports
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the sports
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world
have its
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has
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both
way
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ways
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of thinking about it so people who
chose
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choose
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to be part of it as
there
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their
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pation
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part
in
life
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i
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I
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think would be much
more happy
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happier
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than the people who got into it just by wanting to be rich, i really advice younger people to think clearly whether they want to get into it and chose wisely, it a tough path and it is not meant for anyone.

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coherence and cohesion
Try to provide a clearer structure in your essay, with distinct paragraphs for the introduction, body, and conclusion. This will help the reader follow your arguments more easily.
task achievement
Make sure to stay focused on the prompt and develop your ideas more thoroughly with relevant examples and explanations.
grammar and language use
Pay attention to spelling and grammar, as some errors may distract the reader from your message. Consider proofreading your work before submission.
content
You have shown a personal connection to the topic as a football fan, which makes your essay more engaging.
task achievement
You express a clear opinion on the motivations of athletes, which is a good foundation for your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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