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Writing Samples
Band 5

The chart below shows the percentage of househoulds in different income groups in the UK that had access to the internet between 2002 and 2010

The chart below shows the percentage of househoulds in different income groups in the UK that had access to the internet between 2002 and 2010
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The bar graph illustrates the percentage of homes with the ability to use the
world wide web
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World Wide Web
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according to
Linking Words
 the level of their salaries in
the
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apply
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Great Britain in two years.
Overall
Linking Words
, the number of people with
ability
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the ability
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 to use
internet
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the internet
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 was on the higher side in the
year
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 2010 compared to 2002 across all social classes. The increase
of
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in
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 number was directly
propotional
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proportional
 to the social
class
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. In the
year
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 2002 the upper
class
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indivduals
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individuals
 had the highest percentage of web users, followed by
middle
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the middle
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class
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 and
lastly
Linking Words
 low
class
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 at 70%, 50% and 38% respectively. The
year
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 2010 showed an upward trend
on
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in
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 the number of internet users from the
low income
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low-income
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 group to the
high income
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high-income
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 group, starting at 58% to 78% and
finally
Linking Words
 to 90%. In conclusion
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,
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internet users have been increasing since the
year
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 2002 across all social classes
upto
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up to
 the
year
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 2010.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words year, class with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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