Many adults nowadays prefer spending their free time playing computer games. Why do they do this? Is this a positive or negative development?

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this

Linking Words

technological era,

computer

Add an article

the computer

a computer

show examples

is a go-to equipment for every use. It is commonly observed that

people

Use synonyms

are playing online

games

Use synonyms

frequently in their spare time.

While

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

might be because they need to refresh themselves from a tiring day, it is a negative development as

this

Linking Words

contributes to

sedentary

Correct article usage

a sedentary

show examples

lifestyle, and sometimes

cause

Correct subject-verb agreement

causes

show examples

anger issues which leads to problems in their

relationships

Use synonyms

with

closed

Replace the word

show examples

ones. After working long

hours

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usually

Add a comma

usually,

show examples

adults need some kind of activity to be rejuvenated. Some of them prefer playing computer

games

Use synonyms

as it is not very tiring,

which

Correct word choice

and

show examples

does not include any physical work. These

games

Use synonyms

are designed in a way that

people

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get hooked

Change preposition

show examples

them and

makes

Change the verb form

make

show examples

it harder to resist. Especially after the pandemic of Covid-19, it became more common to be at our homes and play these

games

Use synonyms

Additionally

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, there are numerous

games

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which

enables

Change the verb form

enable

show examples

a person to make teams with their friends.

This

Linking Words

is a way of connecting virtually with their mates for many

people

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who cannot meet personally because of long distances or busy schedules.

For instance

Linking Words

, during

Covid-19

Correct your spelling

COVID-19

show examples

, an online game named PUBG

got

Verb problem

became

show examples

very famous in India, and gamers spent

hours

Use synonyms

and

hours

Use synonyms

while

Linking Words

they had restrictions to

Wrong verb form

going

show examples

out and

meet

Wrong verb form

meeting

show examples

friends.

Although

Linking Words

games

Use synonyms

are a great way to connect with mates, I believe it is a negative development because

this

Linking Words

leads to less intimate

relationships

Use synonyms

, and to sedentary lifestyles.

People

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generally work on their computers at their workplaces and should engage in physical activities like Badminton, Hockey

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

swimming, etc.

This

Linking Words

will help them to be healthy and fit. Online

games

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

are sometimes very violent which makes adults more anxious and short-tempered because of the hormones released.

This

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can

also

Linking Words

have a negative impact on their friendships and

relationships

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with their families.

For example

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, many couples usually have fights because the boyfriend/husband gets involved a lot in playing and does not spend time with their partners. In conclusion, many grown-ups prefer playing online

games

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with their friends to be refreshed.

This

Linking Words

is a negative progress because it leads to

unhealthy

Correct article usage

an unhealthy

show examples

lifestyle by sitting for long

hours

Use synonyms

and sometimes to issues in their

relationships

Use synonyms

People

Use synonyms

should rather play physical sports to stay fit and refresh.

According to

Linking Words

me, everything is good in moderation and playing on

computer

Add an article

the computer

a computer

show examples

should be fine sometimes, but not on a regular basis.

daveshraddha2311Thu Feb 20 2025

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task achievement

Consider refining the thesis statement in the introduction to clearly reflect both the reasons for the trend and your viewpoint about it being a negative development.

coherence and cohesion

Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that indicates the main idea. This helps in guiding the reader through your argument.

task achievement

Try to balance the points made about the negative aspects of gaming with potential counterarguments, emphasizing that moderation is key.

task achievement

The essay provides clear reasons for why adults prefer playing computer games, making a strong link to contemporary issues like the pandemic.

task achievement

The examples used, especially regarding the popularity of PUBG during the pandemic, are relevant and enhance your arguments.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

394 words

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Many adults nowadays prefer spending their free time playing computer games. Why do they do this? Is this a positive or negative development?

Word Count

It is very important for everyone, including young people, to save money for their future. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people think that developing countries need financial help from international organization to continue their development. On the other hand, others think that practical aid or advice is more useful. Discuss both view and give your opinion.

In the future, nobody will buy printed newspapers and books because they will be able to read everything they want online without paying. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Some people believe that the biggest problem facing cities is the increasing number of cars. Others say there more serious problems.Discuss both views and give your opinion.