IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Countries around the world will be facing significant challenges relating not only to the environment, but population and education as well. What problems will your country face in the next ten years? How can these problems be overcome? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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In the contemporary era, many countries are facing various objections related to environment, population and
education
Use synonyms
 as well. But, there
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 many problems
face
Fix the infinitive
to face
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 in next coming years. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will justify my opinion with the reasons. To commence with, the conventional sources of power generation,
a
Add a missing verb
have a
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huge population, especially in urban areas.
For example
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- People living in urban areas face various health issues
such
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 as liver dysfunction, chronic bronchitis,
asthma
Correct word choice
and asthma
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.
This
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 is
due to
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 the dangerous pollutants
release
Wrong verb form
released
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 into the atmosphere which make the fresh air unsuitable to
breath
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breathe
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.
Moreover
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, the different
habitat
Fix the agreement mistake
habitats
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 of aquatic animals were
also
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get
Verb problem
apply
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affected.
As a result
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, the solution is to sustainable means of power generation,
along with
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 strict policy implementation for switching from traditional travel sources to modern means of transportation. Moving ahead,
secondly
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,
education
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 is the main sector where many problems
faced
Add a missing verb
are faced
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 by people
as
Change preposition
apply
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in
modern
Correct article usage
the modern
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 era,
due to
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increase
Correct article usage
the increase
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 in
digitalization
Correct article usage
the digitalization
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 of computers and teaching
method
Fix the agreement mistake
methods
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.
For example
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- many classes are converted into smart classes so,
Use synonyms
education
Add an article
the education
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 system will become easier than earlier.
This
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cause
Change the verb form
causes
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 some problems which will faced by students in future like eyesight weakness,
Correct word choice
and exhaust
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exhaust
Replace the word
exhausted
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 mental levels.
Moreover
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, the student are not trained properly from their premature age. To substantiate,
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education
Add an article
the education
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 system will be simple and convenient so, that children easily grape the words. In conclusion, I reiterate,
the
Correct word choice
that the
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 world will be facing many difficulties when the population is increasing day by day and
Use synonyms
education
Correct article usage
the education
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 system to be in
traditional
Add an article
the traditional
a traditional
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 way so, that many poor students will get
opportunity
Add an article
the opportunity
an opportunity
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 to learn something in
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this
Correct determiner usage
apply
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today’s world.

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coherence and cohesion
Work on structuring your essay more clearly. Ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea and supporting details, and make sure your points flow logically from one to another.
task achievement
Expand on your main points with more detailed explanations and examples. Consider providing additional examples to support your arguments.
grammar and clarity
Pay attention to grammar and sentence structure. Some sentences contain errors that may confuse the reader, so revising them can enhance clarity.
task achievement
You successfully identified key challenges your country may face in the next ten years, specifically regarding the environment and education, which is relevant to the prompt.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Sustainability
  • Ecosystem
  • Renewable resources
  • Urbanization
  • Demographics
  • Healthcare system
  • Pension crisis
  • Curriculum development
  • Digital literacy
  • E-learning platforms
  • Lifelong learning
  • Public policy
  • Biodiversity conservation
  • Green technology
  • Population density
  • Generational equity
  • Economic disparity
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