IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Although you have never formally studied computing, you have always been interested in computers. You have just read about a computer course that really interests you, but it is only for people who have completed an elementary course. Write a letter to the college enrolment officer. In your letter explain why you are writing describe your circumstances ask if a special exception can be made for you so you can enroll in the course

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Dear Mr Smith, I am writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to you with regard to a computer
course
Use synonyms
 that was advertised on our college notice board. If
allow
Change the form of the verb
allowed
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, I would very much like to
enroll
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enrol
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for
Change preposition
on
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 it as I have completed an elementary
course
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. I am
commerce
Correct article usage
a commerce
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 student at our university and even though I have never studied computers as
an
Change the article
a
show examples
 subject, I have always been interested in it.
For example
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, I have studied Java and C++ from the internet.
In addition
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, I have some bit
knowledge
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of knowledge
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 of coding
also
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. The notice specified that the student
get
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gets
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 enrollment only when they have completed an elementary
course
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. As I have already told you
that
Correct word choice
apply
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I am from
commerce
Correct article usage
a commerce
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 background and have
interest
Correct article usage
an interest
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 in it. I assure you that I
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
 be able to cope
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
with the
course
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 and give extra hours of study if required. I look forward to hearing from you. Yours sincerely, Adam

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Task Achievement
Try to clarify your circumstances a bit more by detailing your interest in computers and previous self-study. This can strengthen your case for an exception.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve the logical flow of your paragraphs by ensuring each one clearly supports a main idea. For example, combine your interest and self-study details into one cohesive paragraph.
Tone
Your tone is polite and respectful, which is great for a formal letter.
Task Achievement
You've clearly stated the course you are interested in and your request for an exception, which is an important part of task response.
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