IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Many people believe that international tourism is a bad thing for their country. What are the reasons for this? What can be done to change this negative attitude towards international tourism?

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International
tourism
Use synonyms
 has
became
Change the verb form
become
show examples
 popular thanks to the advancement in Technology and
internet
Correct article usage
the internet
show examples
.
People
Use synonyms
 are able to book travel, hotels and leisure activities,
However
Linking Words
, few
people
Use synonyms
 argue that the high number of
tourism
Use synonyms
 is detrimental and is harming more
Linking Words
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
 doing good for the nation. Littering and overcrowding are some of the reasons
people
Use synonyms
 feel
this
Linking Words
 way, If
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
 changes are implemented
such
Linking Words
 as
installation
Correct article usage
the installation
show examples
 of more garbage bins and better management of the crowd in
high
Add a hyphen
high-traffic
show examples
traffic
Use synonyms
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
then
Linking Words
 it can be a positive change. There are several reasons for
tourism
Use synonyms
 to have a bad image,
firstly
Linking Words
, local residents, especially those who are living around popular tourist
attraction
Fix the agreement mistake
attractions
show examples
are having
Wrong verb form
have
show examples
 to deal with
high
Change the article
a high
the high
show examples
 number of littering
such
Linking Words
 as plastic
bottels
Correct your spelling
bottles
, bags, and wrappers.
This
Linking Words
 will not only harm the environment but
also
Linking Words
effects
Correct your spelling
affects
show examples
 the attraction as it will lose
it
Correct pronoun usage
its
show examples
 value if
people
Use synonyms
 view it as
Correct article usage
an unsanetary
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unsanetary
Correct your spelling
unsanitary
 place to visit.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the density of
people
Use synonyms
 visiting
this
Linking Words
 place can
also
Linking Words
 cause
a
Correct the article-noun agreement
apply
show examples
negative effects,
for instance
Linking Words
, during the week the beach is empty and clean so the local residents can enjoy the
pleasent
Correct your spelling
pleasant
 walk on the shore but over the weekend, hundreds of cars and
people
Use synonyms
 gather around the beach which create
traffic
Use synonyms
 and congestion, making it difficult for everyone to enjoy.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
, there are
few
Correct article usage
a few
show examples
solution
Change to a plural noun
solutions
show examples
 that can help change the narrative to positive,
To begin
Linking Words
 with,
Correct article usage
the Installaion
show examples
Installaion
Correct your spelling
Installation
 of numerous garbage bins in
highly
Add an article
the highly
show examples
 visited
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
,
Linking Words
this
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
will make sure that tourists are aware of the issue and that garbage needs to go in the proper disposal bin and not to litter in public,
also
Linking Words
 creating a plan to manage the busy area by asking
traffic
Use synonyms
 police to navigate the
traffic
Use synonyms
 properly so that to avoid jams and allow everyone to have a great time. In conclusion,
tourism
Use synonyms
 is
blame
Wrong verb form
blamed
show examples
 because of the damage
they
Correct pronoun usage
it
show examples
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
show examples
 but if proper
potocol
Correct your spelling
protocol
protocols
 are applied they can be
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
 source of revenue
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 the economy.

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Task Achievement
Make sure to have a clearer introduction with a more defined thesis statement that outlines the key points of your essay.
Task Achievement
You have addressed the task by discussing both the reasons international tourism is viewed negatively and suggesting possible solutions.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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