IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

In the future, people may no longer be able to pay for things in shops using cash. All payments may have to be made by card or using phones. Do you think this will happen one day? Why do you think some people might not be happy to give up using cash? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is a possibility that one day
people
Use synonyms
 will do a transaction process with cashless. It can be done by a smartphone or a
card
Use synonyms
. I think
this
Linking Words
 condition could happen someday, especially in the
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 of the city, which has the smartest technology. Nowadays, technology and information have improved significantly, and so in the economic sector,
such
Linking Words
 as payment.
This
Linking Words
 process could be more simple because some applications and cards can replace the
use
Use synonyms
 of cash money.
For example
Linking Words
,
people
Use synonyms
 can
use
Use synonyms
 a debit
card
Use synonyms
 to pay a food from a restaurant, and with a
card
Use synonyms
, there is no need to count for exchange payments. Another example
that is
Linking Words
 booming lately is the
use
Use synonyms
 of QR codes from mobile applications of a bank.
This
Linking Words
 method is simpler because
people
Use synonyms
 now bring their mobile phones wherever they go.
Moreover
Linking Words
, those methods can calculate the amount exactly as much as we must pay.
However
Linking Words
, cashless payment is still not applicable in some regions which have no access to technology or networks. So, money is still the first tool to do a transaction.
Besides
Linking Words
 that, the cashless
Linking Words
also
Add a missing verb
is also
show examples
 less applicable for aged
people
Use synonyms
. They find it hard to make a payment using a smartphone for some reasons,
such
Linking Words
 as the responsibility to register their identity
card
Use synonyms
, follow a verification process, and the complex structure of the mobile bank features. In summary, it is possible to
use
Use synonyms
 a smart way to do a transaction;
however
Linking Words
, there are still some considerations in many aspects of using
this
Linking Words
 method as a primary choice.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response
The introduction could be clearer by directly stating your opinion on whether cashless payments will become the norm in the future. This would help set the context for your argument more effectively.
task response
Consider expanding your conclusion to summarize the main points discussed in the essay. This would reinforce your argument and provide a clearer take-home message for the reader.
coherence cohesion
Try to vary your sentence structures and use more linking words to improve the flow of your essay. This will enhance coherence and make your points easier to follow.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that you accurately use singular and plural forms in your examples (e.g., 'payment' vs. 'payments'). This will strengthen your writing and demonstrate a better command of language.
task achievement
You provide relevant examples to support your points, such as the use of debit cards and QR codes. This adds credibility to your argument.
task achievement
Your identification of different demographics, like older people, who may struggle with cashless payments shows good insight into the issue being discussed.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • digital payments
  • convenient
  • efficiency
  • reduce crime
  • tangibility
  • privacy
  • limited access to technology
  • job losses
What to do next:
Look at other essays: