IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high education

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Some people argue that unpaid
community
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service
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 should be a mandatory component of high school education, helping
students
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 develop social responsibility and essential life skills.
While
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this
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 idea has merits, I believe that
such
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 programs should be encouraged rather than made compulsory. Arguments in Favor of Mandatory
Community
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Service
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 One of the main benefits of compulsory
community
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service
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 is that it fosters a sense of social responsibility among young people. By participating in activities
such
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 as helping the elderly, cleaning the environment, or tutoring underprivileged
students
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, high schoolers can develop empathy and a deeper understanding of societal issues.
Additionally
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, engaging in volunteer
work
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 enhances
students
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' soft skills,
such
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 as teamwork, leadership, and communication, which are valuable for their future careers.
Furthermore
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,
community
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service
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 can provide
students
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 with real-world experience that complements their academic education. It allows them to apply theoretical knowledge in practical situations, making learning more meaningful.
For instance
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,
students
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 interested in medicine could gain insights by assisting at hospitals,
while
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 those passionate about environmental issues could
work
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 on sustainability projects. Arguments Against Making It Compulsory Despite these advantages, making
community
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service
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 compulsory may have drawbacks.
Firstly
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, forcing
students
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 to participate in unpaid
work
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 could lead to resentment rather than genuine engagement. Volunteering should come from a sincere desire to help others, not from obligation. If
students
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 perceive it as a burden, they may not put in the necessary effort, reducing its effectiveness.
Secondly
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, not all
students
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 have the same amount of free time. Many high school
students
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 already struggle to balance academic studies, extracurricular activities, and part-time jobs. Adding mandatory
community
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service
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 to their workload could increase stress levels and negatively impact their academic performance.
Lastly
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, enforcing unpaid
labor
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labour
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 raises ethical concerns.
While
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 the intention is to
instill
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instil
show examples
 good values, it could be seen as exploitation if
students
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 are required to
work
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 without compensation, especially in organizations that might
otherwise
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 hire paid workers. Conclusion In conclusion,
while
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community
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service
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 offers significant benefits, it should not be compulsory. Encouraging voluntary participation through incentives
such
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 as academic credits or certificates would be a better approach, allowing
students
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 to engage in meaningful
work
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 without feeling forced. Education should focus on inspiring
students
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 to contribute to society rather than imposing obligations that may not align with their personal circumstances.

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task achievement
Consider providing additional examples to strengthen your arguments. For instance, specific case studies or statistics related to the impact of volunteering could enhance your points.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that transitions between paragraphs and ideas are seamless. While the overall structure is good, clearer linking phrases could improve the flow of your essay.
content
The essay presents a well-balanced view of the topic, weighing both sides of the argument effectively.
language
Strong vocabulary and varied sentence structures contribute to an engaging reading experience.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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