IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people believe that unpaid community service should be a compulsory part of high education

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Nowadays, It is necessary to include
free of charge
Add a hyphen
free-of-charge
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 community services in the high school curriculum in my opinion
this
Linking Words
 will have a positive impact on the upbringing and personality of young people. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will look into the
advantage
Fix the agreement mistake
advantages
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 of the importance of community affairs for teenagers. First of all unpaid
society
Use synonyms
 services encourage and motivate high school students to be more active in school affairs.
In other words
Linking Words
, they learn how modern
society
Use synonyms
 functions and become aware of its system.
As a result
Linking Words
, they are likely to become active citizens in the future.
For example
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, many promenade figures and public leaders
such
Linking Words
 as Barack Obama have acknowledged that public service played a significant role. Another important aspect of involving children in public work is that they realize the value of volunteering by participating.
That is
Linking Words
, it seriously affects their care and worldview
this
Linking Words
 can lead to the fact that they develop not only material assets in life
,
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apply
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 but
also
Linking Words
 important qualities
such
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 as solidarity and
merciful
Replace the word
mercy
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.
Lastly
Linking Words
, free
society
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 functions are useful for youngsters personally and professionally. Through
this
Linking Words
work
Add a comma
work,
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 they evolved communication, leadership and teamwork skills.
This
Linking Words
 abilities are appreciated by employers.
in addition
Linking Words
,
such
Linking Words
 projects increase practical skills.
For example
Linking Words
,the participation of medical students in health projects helps to strengthen their knowledge and increase their confidence.
To sum up
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, unpaid public services should be a compulsory part of tertiary because they nurture responsible citizens, equip students with valuable life skills and befit
society
Use synonyms
 as a whole.

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task achievement
Ensure that your thesis statement is clear and directly addresses the topic of compulsory community service in higher education. A stronger introduction could outline your main points succinctly.
coherence and cohesion
Improve the overall logical flow by using more linking words and phrases. This will help the reader to follow your argumentation more easily.
coherence and cohesion
When discussing the advantages, aim for a clearer structure where each paragraph focuses on one specific point with greater elaboration. This will strengthen your overall argument.
coherence and cohesion
Be cautious of grammatical issues and word form accuracy, such as 'evolved' vs. 'developed' and 'merciful' vs. 'mercy'. Proofreading could help refine your language.
task achievement
You’ve identified several relevant points supporting community service, which reflects good understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion effectively summarizes the main benefits of community service, tying your essay together well.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • unpaid community service
  • social responsibility
  • personal development
  • professional development
  • hands-on experience
  • teamwork
  • leadership
  • problem-solving
  • practical application
  • civic engagement
  • social issues
  • networking
  • internships
  • job opportunities
  • valuable references
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