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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Many people think that living in the city is better than living in the countryside. To what extent do you agree with this view. Gia Linh

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In modern society, many
people
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 believe that living in the
city
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 offers
an enormous
Correct word choice
more
show examples
 benefits than living in the countryside. I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 view since urban areas provide better job opportunities, improved public
services
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, and a more dynamic lifestyle that contributes to personal and professional growth. One of the main reasons why
city
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 life is better is the availability of diverse job opportunities and essential
services
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. Urban areas are economic hubs that attract businesses, industries, and international companies, providing
people
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 with stable employment and chances for career advancement.
Moreover
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, cities offer easy access to high-quality healthcare and education. Top-ranking universities, specialized hospitals, and efficient public transportation systems contribute to a higher standard of living.
For example
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, dwellers can reach emergency medical
services
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 quickly and
enroll
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enrol
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 in prestigious educational institutions without facing long commutes.
In addition
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 to better
services
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, metropolises offer a dynamic lifestyle that appeals to many
people
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. Urban areas provide a wide range of cultural activities, entertainment options, and social events,
such
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 as concerts, art exhibitions, and festivals. The variety of restaurants, shopping
centers
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centres
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, and sports facilities
also
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 adds to the excitement of
city
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 living.
Furthermore
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, living in a
city
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 allows
people
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 to interact with individuals from different backgrounds, promoting cultural exchange and broadening perspectives. In conclusion, for the aforementioned reasons, I strongly believe that
city
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 life is a better choice for those seeking convenience, growth, and a higher standard of living.

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Task Achievement
Expand on the third point, such as how a dynamic lifestyle directly impacts personal and professional growth.
Coherence and Cohesion
Consider using more linking phrases to help guide the reader through your argument, which can enhance the flow between ideas.
Task Achievement
Your introduction clearly states your position, setting a clear tone for the essay.
Task Achievement
Effective use of examples, like mentioning healthcare and education, strengthens your argument.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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