IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the average monthly changes in the prices of the three metals during 2014.

The graph below shows the average monthly changes in the prices of the three metals during 2014.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The line graph indicates the percentile of the
price
Use synonyms
 changes of three metals from January 2014 to December 2014. At the
begining
Correct your spelling
beginning
 of the
year
Use synonyms
, Nickel
standed
Correct your spelling
stands
 out
the
Change preposition
as the
show examples
 most expensive product among others,
whereas
Linking Words
Zinc
Use synonyms
 was the cheapest.
Nonetheless
Linking Words
, in the
last
Linking Words
 month of the
year
Use synonyms
,
market
Add an article
the market
show examples
 turned
trend
Correct article usage
the trend
show examples
 upside down, and
Zinc
Use synonyms
 reached
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the highest fee,
while
Linking Words
 Nickel had the lowest
price
Use synonyms
. The
price
Use synonyms
 of
Zinc
Use synonyms
 started at
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 6%
change
Use synonyms
,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
however,
show examples
 it
shrinked
Correct your spelling
shrank
show examples
 to -3%
at
Change preposition
in
show examples
 June, which is its
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
lowest point.
Thereafter
Linking Words
, it plateaued at -1% after a small soar from -3%, followingly it ended up at 1%
change
Use synonyms
. Meanwhile, the record demonstrates that Copper began at 2%, the trend followed by a small diminish to
at
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
around -0.5% until May, and
then
Linking Words
 it completed the
year
Use synonyms
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 approximately 1.5%
change
Use synonyms
. The most significant
change
Use synonyms
occured
Correct your spelling
occurred
 on the side of
Zinc
Use synonyms
, since it started the
year
Use synonyms
 by 1%, and doubled its
price
Use synonyms
at the end
Linking Words
 of the
year
Use synonyms
. During the
year
Use synonyms
, it fluctuated,
while
Linking Words
 the peak point was 3% and the lowest was -1%.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words price, year, zinc, change with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "changes" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 5 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: