These days, we are seeing an increasing amount of violence on television, and this is having a negative impact on children’s behavior. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
Nowdays
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Nowadays
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, there are enormous bad effects on juveniles of violent shows broadcast on TV. I
am completely concur
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completely concur
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with
this
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statement and highlight
view points
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viewpoints
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further
Linking Words
in detail.
Firstly
Linking Words
, I find that there
were
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are
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so many
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
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programs in which violent scenes
could
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can
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be seen and they
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
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have a large impact on
child's
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children's
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nature. These shows have
a crime scenes
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a crime scene
crime scenes
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and present them as a symbol of
proud
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pride
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and when little
one's
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ones
one
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saw
Wrong verb form
see
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these
plan
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plans
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of action, they are lured and want to do that kind of drama with their friends because they have a less understanding
sbout
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about
what is wrong or right.
For example
Linking Words
, youngsters love to watch wrestling and fighting games and
then
Linking Words
like to do
same
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the same
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things
Use synonyms
with their friends or siblings and
does
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do
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not understand
about
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apply
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the age factor or techniques used in
these kind
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this kind
these kinds
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of plays.
Secondly
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, I believe that juveniles are more independent in
this
Linking Words
era of
hectic
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the hectic
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life of their parents,
So, There
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so their
parents did not have
a
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an
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eye on them to watch what they are watching and which impacts should have these
things
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on their minds. Youngsters think that they are open to
do
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doing
show examples
any thing
Correct your spelling
anything
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and they copy these negative
things
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. There were many series present on
box
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the box
a box
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which contains content of roughness and most people like them because of
competent
Correct pronoun usage
their competent
show examples
behave
Replace the word
behaviour
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.
Such
Linking Words
as
,
Remove the comma
apply
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khatron ke
khiladi
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Khiladi
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,
fear factor
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Fear Factor
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, roadies and many more. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
light of above mentioned points, I conclude that there
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
a series of shows on
tv
Correct your spelling
TV
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which
contains
Correct subject-verb agreement
contain
show examples
more crime and violence rather than
knowledgable
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knowledgeable
show examples
things
Use synonyms
and these all series have
a very bad effects
Correct the article-noun agreement
a very bad effect
very bad effects
show examples
on young
one's
Change noun form
people's
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bevaviour
Correct your spelling
behaviour
.

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coherence and cohesion
Try to clarify your main points and ensure each paragraph has a clear focus. Making specific connections between your arguments and the overall topic will strengthen your essay's coherence.
grammar and vocabulary
Work on grammar and vocabulary to reduce errors in sentence structure and word choice. This will improve the overall clarity and professionalism of your writing.
task response
Make sure your thesis statement is clear and concise. Provide a specific outline of the points you will discuss in the introduction.
task achievement
You have a clear stance on the issue and express your opinion effectively.
task achievement
You provide relevant examples to support your arguments, showing your understanding of the topic.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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