Some people believe that allowing children to make their own choices on everyday matters (such as food, clothes and entertainment) is likely to result in a society of individuals who only think about their own wishes. Other people believe that it is import for children to make decisions about matters that affect them. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.

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Some individuals

are having

Wrong verb form

have

show examples

Correct article usage

the

show examples

notion that if

childrens

Correct your spelling

children

show examples

are allowed to make their choices on their own, they will turn out to be selfish in the future.

However

Linking Words

, other people opine that it is a necessary step to let adolescents decide important things for themselves. Before giving my opinion, I would like to discuss both topics first.

Firstly

Linking Words

, the

conscicuous

Correct your spelling

conspicuous

conscious

reason is that

child

Correct article usage

the child

show examples

does not have enough knowledge or experience to

take

Correct your spelling

make

show examples

important

decision

Fix the agreement mistake

decisions

show examples

. If they try

to conclude

Linking Words

, there is a higher

chances

Correct the article-noun agreement

chance

show examples

wrong

Correct article usage

a wrong

show examples

conclusion. Parents should not let babies have food of their own choice.

For instance

Linking Words

toddler

Fix the agreement mistake

toddlers

show examples

does

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

not consume certain veggies, as they do not like it. It can certainly

show

Verb problem

have

show examples

detrimental

Add an article

a detrimental

show examples

effect on their health.

Morever

Correct your spelling

Moreover

Childrens

Correct your spelling

children

are easily

get

Verb problem

apply

show examples

attracted to

televeision

Correct your spelling

television

or video games for

their

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

entertainment purposes, but it can result in vision impairment.

Hence

Linking Words

, younger individuals are more likely to make mean decisions rather than

thoughful

Correct your spelling

thoughtful

as well as

Linking Words

useful ones. On the other side,

child

Fix the agreement mistake

children

show examples

should be allowed to make some preferences. They should choose their favourite sport or a skill.

For instance

Linking Words

, if children

Change the verb form

want

show examples

wants

Add the particle

wants to

show examples

learn hockey to play in their free time, parents must teach them. It will directly affect their personal growth.

Similarly

Linking Words

, young

girl

Fix the agreement mistake

girls

show examples

can understand

craft

Fix the agreement mistake

crafts

show examples

and paintings, if

she

Correct pronoun usage

they

show examples

wishes

Correct subject-verb agreement

wish

show examples

Furthermore

Linking Words

, when it is

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

time to select

major

Add an article

a major

the major

show examples

subject for their school or college, teenagers’ preferences should be prioritised. In

nutshell

Correct article usage

a nutshell

show examples

, parents are more likely

suitable

Correct word choice

apply

show examples

to choose food, clothing style and entertainment for their child,

however

Linking Words

, skills or subjects should be as per the adolescents’ wish. I

strognly

Correct your spelling

strongly

opine that the

later

Correct your spelling

latter

show examples

view is

important

Correct quantifier usage

more important

show examples

than the first one, as it has

power

Change the article

the power

show examples

to shape their future.

mihu.maisuriyaFri Feb 21 2025

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Language Use

Ensure to use the correct plural form of words, such as changing 'childrens' to 'children' and 'conclusions' instead of 'conclude'. Also, consider using proper conjunctions and prepositions to enhance clarity.

Argument Development

When discussing the negative impacts of choices, provide more specific examples to deepen the argument. Additionally, clarify phrases like 'mean decisions' to improve understanding.

Structure

Your essay presents a clear opinion and acknowledges both sides of the argument, which is commendable.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
34
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

288 words

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