In many countries, the amount of crime is increasing. What do you think are the main causes of crime? How can we deal with those causes?

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There is an ongoing interest in the upsurge in crime. In most countries, crime is rising significantly. The key questions are what are the causes and how can we remedy these problems, I believe it is often linked to the lack of employment, and creating job opportunities will help ameliorate
this
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issue. I will thoroughly analyze my views, supported with relevant examples.
To begin
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, one major reason for the increase in crime in many countries is unemployment.
That is
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, most people do not have work
due to
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inadequate opportunities,
hence
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they have no stable source of income, and cannot meet their daily needs. They feel marginalized in the society.
This
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often drives them into illegal business deals or theft, in a quest to attain financial stability.
For example
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, surveys conducted in Zone 9 prison headquarters in Nigeria, revealed that about 85% of the incarcerated criminals who committed felonies and misdemeanors were unemployed graduates without substantial paying jobs. They joined robbery as an alternative means of survival.
This
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clearly shows that unemployment fosters misdeeds.
Furthermore
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, there are various ways to combat
this
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problem in society, but the most effective is by providing economic support and job creation for the people. To buttress
this
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, the government should invest in establishing employment for a larger population and, provide financial aid to the less-privileged group. It can be achieved by encouraging foreign investors, building industries, and
also
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by granting scholarships, mortgages and bank loans. These will provide work placement for the residents, and help stabilize living standards,
subsequently
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dissuading offence.
For instance
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, studies have shown that countries with commendable available works and fund aid, particularly developed nations like the UK and the US, have recorded lower atrocity rates over the years as compared to others lacking in the above-mentioned areas. In conclusion, with the constant rise in the number of offenders in many nations, I believe
this
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can be attributed to the lack of job availability, and creating employment and financial aid will help curb
this
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problem.

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coherence and cohesion
While your essay presents a clear argument and relevant examples, you could improve the clarity by ensuring each paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence that reflects the main idea of that paragraph. This will help guide the reader through your argument more effectively.
task achievement
Consider expanding on your examples to provide deeper insights. For instance, adding statistics or specific case studies can enhance the credibility of your points.
task achievement
Your thesis statement is clear and outlines your main argument effectively. This sets a good foundation for your essay.
coherence and cohesion
You have structured your essay logically, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs that explore different aspects of your argument, and a summarizing conclusion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic disparity
  • propensity
  • recidivism
  • deterrent
  • rehabilitative
  • judicial system
  • corruption
  • socioeconomic
  • alienation
  • stigmatization
  • decriminalization
  • enforcement
  • gentrification
  • preemptive measures
  • intervention strategies
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