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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

People naturally resist making changes in their lives. What kinds of problems can this cause? What solutions can you suggest?

Individuals generally avoid embracing
changes
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 in their
lives
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. The problems it causes are that without
changes
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 the
lives
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 of
people
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 become monotonous and
stops
Correct subject-verb agreement
stop
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 the
growth
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 of individuals. To solve
this
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 issue,
people
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 should come out of their comfort zones and should try new things in their
lives
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. Life will be boring without
changes
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. Change fosters enjoyment and encouragement.
People
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 will forget to enjoy their
lives
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 if they cannot welcome
changes
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 in their
lives
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. Every day will be the same and there is no new thing to do.
In addition
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, if
people
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 avoid
changes
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, it will stop their
growth
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. It will prevent them from learning new things and explore new
opportunities
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. They will remain in the same phases in their
lives
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 year after year.
For example
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,
people
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, who remain in the same
workplaces
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workplace
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 for years cannot develop professionally because remaining in the same
workplaces
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workplace
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deter
Correct subject-verb agreement
deters
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 them from exploring new challenges and
opportunities
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. To tackle
this
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 problem,
people
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 should come out of their comfort zones. They should accept
changes
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 and learn to embrace new challenges in their
lives
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. It will eradicate their boredom and bring excitement
in
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to
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 their
lives
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.
Moreover
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, individuals should allow them to try new
opportunities
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 and accept new challenges. It will enable them to develop new skills and insights and offer personal and professional
growth
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.
For instance
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, if employees accept new training offers and
skill developing
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skill-developing
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 workshops in their workplaces, it will
initially
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 demand some of their valuable time.
However
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, it will promote professional
growth
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at
Change preposition
in
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 the end. In conclusion, resisting
changes
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 makes life boring and deters
growth
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 in human life. To handle
this
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 issue,
people
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 should come out of their comfort zone to embrace
changes
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 and explore new
opportunities
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.

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task achievement
Consider providing more specific examples to support your main ideas. This could strengthen your arguments and provide more clarity.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure a smoother transition between paragraphs to enhance the flow of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear introduction and conclusion, summarizing your main points effectively.
task achievement
Your ideas are logical and easy to understand, showing a good overall structure.
Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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