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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below shows the total number of minutes (in billions) of telephone calls in the UK, divided into three categories, from 1995-2002. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below shows the total number of minutes (in billions) of telephone calls in the UK, divided into three categories, from 1995-2002. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar chart from 1995-2002 displays the information of
minutes
Use synonyms
 (in
billions
Use synonyms
) of telephone calls in the UK,
devided
Correct your spelling
divided
 into three categories.
Overall
Linking Words
, the usage of Mobiles, National and International
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
UK telephone calls categories from 1995 to 2002 have increased with
same
Change the article
the same
show examples
 pattern,
while
Linking Words
 the Local
types
Use synonyms
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 fluctuated in those years. The Local
types
Use synonyms
 experienced the highest number of calls in 1995 among the other two
types
Use synonyms
 with around 73
minutes
Use synonyms
 (
billions
Use synonyms
).
This
Linking Words
 figure
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
rose regularly until 1999 accounted 90
minutes
Use synonyms
 (
billions
Use synonyms
).
Subsequently
Linking Words
, from 1999 to 2002, the Local category
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
slightly decreased
approximately
Change preposition
by approximately
show examples
 72
minutes
Use synonyms
 (
billions
Use synonyms
).
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the Mobiles and National and International
types
Use synonyms
 shared
similar
Add an article
a similar
show examples
 pattern of calling below the Local number with around 2 and 38
minutes
Use synonyms
 (
billions
Use synonyms
), respectively in 1995. They went up steadily until 1999
addresed
Correct your spelling
addressed
 around 13 and 50
minutes
Use synonyms
 (
billions
Use synonyms
)
each
Change preposition
from each
show examples
 other.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, the National and International
types
Use synonyms
 kept
steady
Change the word
steadily
show examples
 growing by 61
minutes
Use synonyms
 (
Use synonyms
billions
Fix the agreement mistake
billion
show examples
) in 2002,
while
Linking Words
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Mobiles'
Change noun form
Mobiles
show examples
 calls
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 increased dramatically three times
than
Change preposition
apply
show examples
in 1999 with around 46
minutes
Use synonyms
 (
Use synonyms
billions
Fix the agreement mistake
billion
show examples
)

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words minutes, billions, types with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 4 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • telecommunications
  • landline
  • mobile phones
  • local calls
  • national and international calls
  • billion
  • minutes
  • growth
  • decrease
  • trend
  • fluctuate
  • overtake
  • peak
  • plummet
  • steady
  • significant
  • minor
  • chart
  • period
  • comparison
  • category
  • data
  • illustrate
  • reveal
  • indicate
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