IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

There is growing evidence that man-made activities are making global temperatures higher. What might be the man-made causes of temperatures rising? How should we deal with this problem? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Over the course of the recent decades, global warming has become one of the critical and leading problems in many societies. Obviously, human activities
such
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 as overpopulation and burning fossil fuels, are considered
as
Change preposition
apply
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the root causes of
this
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 phenomenon.
Therefore
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, some practical measures should be taken so as to mitigate the side effects of
this
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 issue. There are various factors that
contributes
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contribute
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 to the rise of the earth’s temperature. Admittedly,
over-utilization
Correct article usage
the over-utilization
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 of fossil fuels in diverse industries ranging from transportation to manufacturing, has led to
emission
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the emission
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 of greenhouse gases
to
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into
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 the atmosphere.
Consequently
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, our planet has become warmer than ever before.
Furthermore
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,
it is clear that
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 overpopulation plays an important role in global warming. Indeed, the ever-growing population of
this
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 planet
,
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apply
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 needs more land to build houses, offices and factories. As a tangible example, a recent study at Harvard University discovered that
due to
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 road and resident constructions in England, more than 40% of forests
has
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have
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 disappeared.
Nevertheless
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, there are some solutions that might help minimize
this
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 problem.
Firstly
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, the usage of fuels should be replaced by renewable sources of energy like solar power and wind power.
Secondly
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, holding campaigns, that
raises
Correct subject-verb agreement
raise
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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public awareness
toward
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of
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 the hazardous effects of
this
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 disaster, can have an influence on controlling global temperatures.
For instance
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, it was reported on the BBC News on 10 March,
the
Correct word choice
that the
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 government of Denmark has started a new campaign that
encourage
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encourages
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 people to reduce the amount of gas they use. In summary, since the globe has become warmer
as a result
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 of
man-kind
Correct your spelling
mankind
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 activities, it is our responsibility to address
this
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 issue by choosing cleaner sources of energy
as well as
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 educating other members of society.

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Task Achievement
Consider providing more detailed examples to support your points, especially in discussing the impact of overpopulation and other human activities on global warming.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure that all parts of your essay maintain formal tone and clarity to enhance your argument's effectiveness.
Task Achievement
Expand on your solutions by discussing specific policies or technologies that could be implemented, which would strengthen your recommendations.
Coherence and Cohesion
The introduction clearly outlines the main issues and sets up the discussion effectively.
Task Achievement
The recognition of renewable energy sources as solutions is a strong point that shows an understanding of addressing the problem.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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