IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3

In the modern world. it is no longer neccesary to use animals as food and in other products like clothing and medicines. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

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Using
animal
Fix the agreement mistake
animals
show examples
 in making clothes and medicine even using
a food
Remove the article
food
a portion of food
show examples
 is still
neccesary
Correct your spelling
necessary
 in
this
Linking Words
 modern world.As per my
opnion
Correct your spelling
opinion
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 completely disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement and
further
Linking Words
eaasy
Correct your spelling
easy
 will elucidate my
view point
Correct your spelling
viewpoint
show examples
 on that. In
this
Linking Words
ecosysment
Correct your spelling
ecosystem
 relationship between human
being
Fix the agreement mistake
beings
show examples
 and
animals
Use synonyms
 needs to
be balance
Change the verb form
be balanced
show examples
then
Linking Words
 only lifecycle and biodiversity should be maintained.
Animals
Use synonyms
 are still important
for
Change preposition
to
show examples
 the human being for their mental and physical goal. There are so many
nutirients
Correct your spelling
nutrients
 present in animal flesh which is most prominently required
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
human
Add an article
the human
show examples
 body.
On the other hand
Linking Words
 , people who are living in cold areas ,
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
 need clothes made up of animal fur which helps them to
keep
Verb problem
stay
show examples
 alive and warm in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
harsh weather conditions .
Moreover
Linking Words
,in the field of
medical
Replace the word
medicine
show examples
 mice are used for testing the results of drugs which is crucial for mankind.
For instance
Linking Words
, during the time of COVID China
test covid
Replace the word
tested the COVID-19
show examples
 vaccine first on mice
not
Add the comma(s)
, not
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
living
man
Fix the agreement mistake
men
show examples
 to check whether it worked or
no
Correct your spelling
not
show examples
.
However
Linking Words
, in the field of science
animals
Use synonyms
plays
Correct subject-verb agreement
play
show examples
 a key role in testing various supplements as well which
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 used by sportsmen to build their endurance and health rate.
To conclude
Linking Words
 ,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
very
strong
Change the word
strongly
show examples
 agreement
on
Change preposition
with
show examples
this
Linking Words
 statement that in our daily amenities
animals
Use synonyms
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
 always a
neccesity
Correct your spelling
necessity
 in terms of food,clothing and medicines.

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language
Ensure proper use of vocabulary and check the spellings of words like 'ecosystem', 'opinion', 'necessary' etc.
structure
Try to create clearer topic sentences for each paragraph to enhance the logical flow of ideas.
supporting evidence
Provide more specific examples or data to support your claims, as this will strengthen your argument significantly.
argumentation
You presented your viewpoint clearly and maintained a consistent stance throughout the essay.
content
You included relevant points regarding the importance of animals in food, clothing, and medicine.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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