IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Many fast food chains are expanding across the world. Do you think the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

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Nowadays, an ever-growing trend of
fast
Add a hyphen
fast-food
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food
Use synonyms
 restaurant expansion is happening worldwide.
This
Linking Words
 essay believes that the benefits of
this
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 trend related to economic growth and convenience outweigh the
drawback
Fix the agreement mistake
drawbacks
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 of possible
health
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 risks. One major benefit of the rise in fast
food
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 chains is their contribution to economic growth. As more
fast
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fast-food
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food
Use synonyms
 restaurants open, they create job opportunities for individuals who may struggle to find employment
due to
Linking Words
 a lack of academic qualifications or professional skills. These jobs, though often entry-level, provide stable income within the industry. Another point worth considering is how convenient it is to the residents when fast
food
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 restaurant is expanded. Since the world is developing, people are becoming more and more busy
due to
Linking Words
 hectic schedules, making it difficult for them to prepare meals at home.
However
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, fast
food
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 restaurant offers ready-made meals and
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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 available in every corner of the city, making them a top choice in terms of deciding what to eat and enabling customers to save time effectively.
As a result
Linking Words
, the availability and accessibility
fast
Change preposition
of fast
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food
Use synonyms
chain
Fix the agreement mistake
chains
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offers has
Wrong verb form
have
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 benefited working individuals significantly.
Otherwise
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,
this
Linking Words
 trend is
also
Linking Words
 associated with
health
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 concerns. To clarify, it is believed that processed
food
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 contains a large number of saturated fat, sugar, salt and other harmful unspecified ingredients, leading to obesity or even serious
health
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 issues if consumed for a long period.
This
Linking Words
 point has credibility scientifically,
however
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, it can be easily avoided by
the
Correct article usage
apply
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consumers simply limiting fast
food
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 eating
habit
Fix the agreement mistake
habits
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, meaning that they should be more aware of what they are consuming. In conclusion, despite posing
health
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 risks, the
health
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-related concern of eating fast
food
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 is outweighed by the merits of
growing
Correct article usage
the growing
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 economy and
effectiveness
Correct article usage
the effectiveness
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 offered
the
Change preposition
by the
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 growing chains of
fast
Add an article
the fast
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food
Use synonyms
 industry.

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task achievement
Make sure to include a clear thesis statement in the introduction. While you have stated your opinion, explicitly stating this as a thesis can strengthen your essay.
task achievement
When discussing supporting points, aim to provide specific examples or statistics where possible to enhance the credibility of your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph begins with a clear topic sentence that directly relates to your thesis statement to improve coherence.
coherence and cohesion
Consider using more linking words and phrases to guide the reader through your argument, which will enhance overall flow and cohesion.
task achievement
The essay demonstrates a good understanding of the topic and presents a clear opinion on the advantages versus disadvantages of fast food chains.
coherence and cohesion
Effective use of varied sentence structures and vocabulary which contributes to the overall readability of the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • expansion
  • fast food chains
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • globalization
  • cultural exchange
  • convenience
  • accessibility
  • nutritional concerns
  • obesity
  • health issues
  • environmental impact
  • sustainability
  • cultural erosion
  • local cuisines
  • economic growth
What to do next:
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