IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 3.5

Some people believe that teenagers should be required to do unpaid community work in their free time. This can benefit teenagers and the community as well. To what extent do you agree or disagree.

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Making
teenagers
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 take place in
a
Remove the article
apply
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community
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work
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 is a well-known technique to increase their
life
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skills
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. I believe
,
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apply
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Linking Words
this
Correct determiner usage
these
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 unpaid
community
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 jobs should be a must in
high-schools
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high schools
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. Schools and local public communities should
work
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 together and create projects to meet
teenagers
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 and local services.
Teenage
Correct article usage
The teenage
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 stage of
the
Correct article usage
apply
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life
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, which is between 12-18, is
crutial
Correct your spelling
crucial
critical
 in personal development. The
skills
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 gained in
this
Linking Words
 period of
life
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 are effective in both daily
life
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 and career. Some scientists and
socialogists
Correct your spelling
sociologists
 support that being a part of a group and learning what helpfulness is benefit the personality. Especially
doping
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doing
show examples
this
Linking Words
 for free makes
this
Linking Words
 project more valuable. These
community
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 jobs could be listed like
this
Linking Words
: being a librarian, helping elderly and disabled people, helping with the paperwork in public buildings... All
these
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this
show examples
work
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 can help youth
to
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apply
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improve their communication
skills
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 which will be needed
in
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for
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rest
Correct article usage
the rest
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 of their
life
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. In some countries, these
community
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 jobs are done by the prisoners. Because the only benefit is not for the
teenagers
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,
these kind
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this kind
these kinds
show examples
 of projects
also
Linking Words
 have good effects on
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community
Add an article
the community
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. The people who get these
service
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services
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 for free always give positive feedback about the service
ans
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and
 hospitality. In conclusion, to make
teenagers
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, especially the highschool students, have
a
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apply
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high-quality communication and empathy
skills
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, the
community
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work
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 can be used.
Doing
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By doing
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this
Linking Words
,
teenagers
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 will be more prepared for university
life
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 and
career
Fix the agreement mistake
careers
show examples
.

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Task Achievement
Make sure to clearly define your stance in the introduction. Using phrases like 'I fully agree' or 'I partially agree' can improve clarity.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to use a wider range of vocabulary and more complex sentences to convey your ideas. This will enhance the overall quality of your writing.
Task Achievement
You have provided relevant examples of community work, which demonstrates your understanding of the topic.
Coherence and Cohesion
The structure of your essay is generally good, with a clear introduction, body, and conclusion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • required
  • unpaid
  • community work
  • benefit
  • teenagers
  • life skills
  • volunteering
  • empathy
  • compassion
  • socially aware
  • responsible
  • interact
  • diverse backgrounds
  • cultural understanding
  • tolerance
  • work experience
  • essential skills
  • employment
  • interests
  • passions
  • career development
  • contribute
  • betterment
  • development
  • local community
  • mental well-being
  • stress
  • self-esteem
  • burden
  • academic
  • personal lives
  • time management
  • support
  • balance
  • participate
  • encouraged
  • numerous benefits
  • individuals
  • conclusion
What to do next:
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