IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The plans below show a public park (Grange Park) when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

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The two maps show the layout transformation of Grange
Park
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 from when it first opened in 1920 to today. The two most distinctive changes are the stage for musicians has been modernized
,
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apply
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 and become an
amphitheater
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amphitheatre
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 to hold concerts, and the fountain changed into a larger rose
garden
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 with seats at every side of it. In 1920, rose gardens were positioned in almost every corner of the
park
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 except for the right-down corner, where a glasshouse was placed.
Moreover
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, the
park
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's seats have a similar placement, near the rose
garden
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 and glass house.
Then
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, at the centre of the
park
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, there is a two-stories fountain, right in between the entrance from Arnold Avenue and Eldon Street. Compared to the layout of today's
Garden
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Park
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, an additional entrance from the underground car
park
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 has been built at the bottom left corner, replacing the glasshouse and seats.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, on the left side of it, a Water feature has been added.
Overall
Linking Words
, there have been major changes from the two maps, but one of the positions of the rose
garden
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 remained the same throughout the years.

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task achievement
Consider adding a brief overview or summary statement about the overall transformation of the park in the introduction or conclusion to strengthen your response.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use linking phrases or transitional words to better connect your ideas and paragraphs, which will enhance the flow of your writing.
task achievement
Incorporate more specific details or examples to support your points, such as mentioning the number of seats or specific plants in the rose garden, to provide a clearer picture
task achievement
The essay effectively identifies and describes the main features of the park's transformation with relevant comparisons between the two time periods.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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