IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organisation. why might this be the case? what could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

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In recent years, many people have chosen
self-employment
Use synonyms
 over traditional jobs.
This
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 shift can be attributed to several factors, with the desire for greater flexibility and independence being the primary motivations.
However
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,
self-employment
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also
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 has its challenges, which should be carefully considered. One of the main reasons
individuals
Use synonyms
 opt for
self-employment
Use synonyms
 is the flexibility it offers. In corporate jobs, employees are often confined to rigid working hours, typically from nine to five, with the added pressure of overtime during peak periods.
This
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 can result in burnout and limited personal time.
In contrast
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, self-employed
individuals
Use synonyms
 have the freedom to set their own schedules, enabling them to balance work and personal life more effectively.
For example
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, freelancers can adjust their work hours based on personal needs, leading to a more flexible lifestyle.
However
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,
self-employment
Use synonyms
also
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 presents notable drawbacks. One major issue is the instability of income. Unlike salaried employees who receive a regular paycheck, self-employed
individuals
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 face fluctuations in their earnings, especially during periods of low demand or economic uncertainty.
Additionally
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, entrepreneurs must take on multiple roles,
such
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 as marketing, administration, and customer service, which can be time-consuming and overwhelming.
This
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 may lead to
high stress
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high-stress
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 levels and negative impacts on mental and physical health. In conclusion,
while
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self-employment
Use synonyms
 offers increased flexibility and autonomy,
individuals
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 must be aware of the financial instability and additional responsibilities it entails. It is important for anyone considering
self-employment
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 to weigh these pros and cons before making a decision.

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task achievement
To improve the clarity of your essay, consider explicitly stating the disadvantages in the introduction to give readers a clear roadmap of what to expect. For example, you could briefly mention the challenges in self-employment, alongside the benefits, thus setting a balanced tone from the start.
task achievement
In your body paragraphs, strive for richer examples or personal anecdotes that could support your points more effectively. This would enhance the relevance and specificity of your examples, making your argument stronger and more engaging.
coherence and cohesion
To improve coherence, try using more varied transition phrases to connect sentences and paragraphs smoothly. This will enhance the flow of your writing, making it easier for readers to follow your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Consider varying sentence structure in some places to maintain reader interest and enhance the overall dynamic of your writing. For instance, try integrating shorter sentences for emphasis alongside longer, more complex ones.
coherence and cohesion
The essay is well-structured, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, making it easy to follow your reasoning and arguments.
task achievement
You present balanced views on the advantages and disadvantages of self-employment, demonstrating a nuanced understanding of the topic.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • self-employment
  • freelancing
  • entrepreneurship
  • autonomy
  • financial stability
  • work-life balance
  • financial insecurity
  • lack of support
  • resources
  • long working hours
  • uncertain income
  • job security
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