In some countries, people encourage their children to get a job or to travel after their secondary education and before their university education. What are the advantages or disadvantages of doing so?

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In the contemporary era, many householders are supporting their sons and daughters to try

career

Use synonyms

life and explore the world before enrolling in

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

college.

This

Linking Words

essay will discuss that building a responsible character and exchanging knowledge are the foremost benefits.

Then

Linking Words

, demonstrate that the shock after living the

career

Use synonyms

life and blind imitation are the primary drawbacks. On the one hand,

this

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topic has two main pros.

To begin

Linking Words

with, letting the students travel and get a

career

Use synonyms

, can help them to learn how to be more confident and responsible. To illustrate, when they apply for a job they will stick to it and try to commit to doing their best.

Hence

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this

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will lead them to a perfect mentality and character.

Furthermore

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, the second positive point is to know more about other cultures

while

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travelling.

Also

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, that will enhance pupils' communication skills.

For instance

Linking Words

, they will be able to talk with other mortals from different countries.

On the other hand

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, we cannot neglect the cons of

this

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topic.

Firstly

Linking Words

career

Use synonyms

life is hard, so if these students try it and realise that it needs a lot of effort to achieve goals, they might be disappointed and think that they are not able to be successful.

Besides

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that,

while

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travelling, they may imitate people there who are acting in the wrong way.

Thus

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, they will obtain bad behaviours.

To conclude

Linking Words

this

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topic has certain merits in changing the student's personality and view. The shortcomings of

this

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trend involve behaving in a wrong way and feeling helpless.

Therefore

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, parents should consider all these points and

then

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make the right decision

according to

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the learner's goals.

mariameissa23Sun Feb 23 2025

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coherence and cohesion

Ensure each paragraph has a clear focus and helps to develop your argument more thoroughly. Some points, especially in the disadvantages, could benefit from further explanation or elaboration.

task achievement

Try to integrate more specific examples to support your points more effectively. This will help demonstrate your ideas more clearly and make your argument stronger.

coherence and cohesion

The essay has a clear structure and logical progression of ideas, which helps the reader to follow your argument easily.

task achievement

You effectively identified both advantages and disadvantages, showing a balanced view on the topic.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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15
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 8.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

275 words

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In some countries, people encourage their children to get a job or to travel after their secondary education and before their university education. What are the advantages or disadvantages of doing so?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Some cities have vehicle-free days when private cars, trucks and motorcylces are banned from city center. People are encouraged to use public transports such as buses, taxis and metro on vehicle-free day. To what extent do you think the advantages of this outweighs the disadvantages?

Many people believe that social networking sites (such as Facebook) have had a huge negative impact on both individuals and cociety. To what extent do you agree?

Some people work for the same organisation all their working life. Others think that it is better to work for different organisations. Discuss both these views and giver your own opinion.

As air travel has become cheaper, more and more people are travelling abroad for their vacations instead of visiting places in their own country. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this?

Schools should stop using books for teaching to learn as they find them boring, and use films, TV and computers instead. To what extent do you agree with this?