IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people say that advertising is extremely successful at persuading us to buy things. Other people think that advertising is so common that we know longer pay attention to it. Discuss both these views and give your opinion?

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Advertising is a way to show
people
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 new
products
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 in
order
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 to persuade them to buy them. Some individuals believe that publicity is the best method to convince
people
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 to purchase their
goods
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. Others think that advertising is everywhere that all know about it and cannot impact
on
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apply
show examples
us to choose them. Now I want to discuss these opinions and
then
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 write my own perspective. On the
one
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 hand, advertisements are very crucial to demonstrate kind of ways to
people
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 so as to persuade them to consume their
products
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.
Companies
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use
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 different steps to catch buyers’ eyes in
order
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 to choose their
goods
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.
For example
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, food advertising
companies
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 produce small packs of
products
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 to give consumers a freebie of their
products
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 to convince them to buy those
goods
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.
Also
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, they utilize luxury packs for their
goods
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 to sell more of their items to pupils.
On the other hand
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, because of the development of technology, there are many ways to advertise
such
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 as social media, television and billboards.
Thus
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, consumers do not need to watch any ads in
order
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 to think which
one
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 is better, they can search about their
companies
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 and the rate of their
products
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 to make a decision.
For instance
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, when someone decides to buy a mobile phone they read the comments on social media about that brand and question them about their satisfaction so they can choose the best
one
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.
Moreover
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, in my idea
companies
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 should
use
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 the interesting way to advertise their product in
order
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 to succeed in their sales.
Also
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, they should
use
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one
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 special program to show
people
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 their
goods
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,
this
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 can assist them in persuading
people
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 and not let them too tired of their ads. In conclusion, it is necessary to have good publicity to know about new things
however
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,
companies
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 must
use
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 the best methods to satisfy individuals.

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Task Achievement
Make sure to clearly outline both sides of the argument in the introduction and provide more clarity in your opinion statement.
Coherence and Cohesion
Try to enhance the logical flow between your ideas and make the transitions between points more fluid.
Task Achievement
Include more specific examples to support your points, particularly in discussing the effectiveness of advertisements.
Task Achievement
You successfully discussed both sides of the argument and presented your opinion clearly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay has a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which is a good foundation for coherence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • persuade
  • promote
  • attract
  • influence
  • impact
  • consumerism
  • commercialism
  • market
  • product
  • brand
  • endorsement
  • manipulative
  • saturated
  • overwhelmed
  • repetitive
  • distracting
  • irrelevant
  • exaggerated
  • misleading
  • desensitized
What to do next:
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