Governments give lots of support to artists, even though some people think it is a waste of money that could have been spent better elsewhere. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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These days, states provide a lot of
supports
Fix the agreement mistake
support
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to
artists
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,
although
Linking Words
some individuals believe that it is a waste of money, and the money could have been utilized better in some other important
sectors
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. I personally think that
while
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other important
sectors
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of a country require importance and funding from the
government
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because the public deserves better facilities,
artists
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also
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should be given equal importance because they contribute to social reformation. A country has a variety of
sectors
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, which need
attention
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the attention
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and support of the
government
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,
such
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as agriculture, healthcare, education and infrastructure. If the state invests in these
sectors
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, the public will receive appropriate and adequate services. They will
be benefitted
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benefit
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from these services and improve their lives.
For example
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, India spends around 10 million dollars a year to create sufficient employment opportunities for the young generation, and
this
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initiative contributes a lot to
enhance
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enhancing
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their lifestyles.
However
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, in my opinion, the
government
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should pay attention to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
art because it deserves the same importance
like
Change preposition
as
show examples
other
sectors
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. If the
government
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offers support to the
artists
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, it will allow them to reform
society
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.
Artists
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, through their
artworks
Add the comma(s)
artworks,
show examples
depict numerous problems and challenges of
society
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. If
artists
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are properly patronized by the
government
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, they will be more encouraged to do so, and it will allow the public and the
government
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to address those issues of
society
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.
This
Linking Words
will lead to social reformation.
For instance
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, in Bangladesh,
artists
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are funded by the
government
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to produce dramas, which portray the contemporary issues of
society
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such
Linking Words
as corruption, violence and homelessness. These dramas create awareness among the public and inspire them to tackle these issues.
Therefore
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, I believe that investing
on
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in
show examples
artists
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by the
government
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is necessary. In conclusion,
although
Linking Words
governments should
offer
Verb problem
pay
show examples
proper attention to other important
sectors
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of a country
while
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providing
supports
Fix the agreement mistake
support
show examples
, I think that the
government
Use synonyms
should consider supporting
artists
Use synonyms
because they facilitate social reformation.

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task achievement
Consider providing a more nuanced exploration of the arguments in the body paragraphs to enhance depth. While you've presented your opinion, exploring counterarguments in more detail could improve your discussion.
coherence and cohesion
To strengthen coherence, make sure your paragraphs flow smoothly by using clearer topic sentences and connecting phrases between ideas. This can help guide the reader through your arguments more effectively.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear opinion on the topic and covers both viewpoints effectively, showcasing your understanding of the issue.
task achievement
You provide relevant examples that support your points, particularly around societal issues addressed through art, which adds depth to your argument.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • government patronage
  • cultural heritage
  • national identity
  • creative industries
  • unnecessary expense
  • essential services
  • democratize
  • private patronage
  • market forces
  • innovation
  • boost tourism
  • subjective nature
  • allocated ineffectively
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