Some people believe that longer prison sentences are the best way to decrease crime while others believe that there are alternatives ways to decrease crime. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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There is no denying the fact that
criems
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crimes
are
global
Correct article usage
a global
show examples
issus
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issues
.
Whiel
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While
it is a commonly held belief that
extaning
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extending
expanding
prison sentences are
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
good way to reduce crimes,
ther
Correct your spelling
there
is
also
Linking Words
an argument that there are different
path
Fix the agreement mistake
paths
show examples
to decrease crimes.
This
Linking Words
essay will analyse
this
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topic from both points of view and express my opinion. On the one hand, some people think
Correct word choice
that extened
show examples
extened
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extended
extend
perpetrators
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perpetrators'
perpetrator's
show examples
period
Fix the agreement mistake
periods
show examples
in jail
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
beneficial for
socity
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society
. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
other words,
long
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a long
show examples
period of punishment will
makes
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make
show examples
them
realized
Wrong verb form
realise
show examples
ther fulte
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their fault
and avoid them
to do
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from doing
show examples
it in the future.
Moreover
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, there are rehabilitation programs in jail
may
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that may
show examples
help them to control
them
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their
show examples
anger.
For example
Linking Words
, rehabilitation programs for perpetrators in Yemenes
jail
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jails
show examples
help to
reduc
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reduce
different types of crimes
such
Linking Words
as stiling and killing.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, some individuals consider that there are many ways to decrease crime
such
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as volunteering and
pychology
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psychology
counseling
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counselling
show examples
. It is
also
Linking Words
possible to say that there are many reasons
behiend
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behind
the
criems
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crimes
like, starving,
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and mantal
show examples
mantal
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mental
issues.

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Language
Work on improving spelling errors (e.g., 'criems', 'isssues', 'extaning', etc.), which can confuse readers and undermine the overall clarity of your essay.
Content
Ensure that each point made in the body paragraphs is sufficiently elaborated and supported with relevant examples or details to strengthen your arguments.
Cohesion
It would be beneficial to include a clear conclusion summarising your viewpoints, to enhance the overall structure of your essay.
Content
You have demonstrated an understanding of both sides of the argument, which is good for task achievement.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Deterrence
  • Recidivism
  • Rehabilitation
  • Restorative justice
  • Community policing
  • Economic development
  • Reintegration
  • Punitive measures
  • Inhumane conditions
  • Overcrowding
  • Social services
  • Tailored approaches
  • Public sentiment
  • Root causes
  • Taxpayer burden
What to do next:
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