In many countries, people working in sport and entertainment earn much more money than professionals like doctors, nurses, and teachers. Why do you think this happens in some societies? Do you consider it good or bad?

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It is a growing debate that celebrities and other famous people should be earning

lesser

Correct word choice

less

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comparing

Wrong verb form

compared

show examples

to other

professional

Fix the agreement mistake

professionals

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like doctors, nurses and teachers. In my opinion, it is a pressing issue that requires careful consideration, as

peoplle

Correct your spelling

people

from

entertainment

Correct article usage

the entertainment

show examples

and sports

feilds

Correct your spelling

fields

getting

Wrong verb form

get

show examples

higher pay,

while

Linking Words

demanding professions that are essential for

community

Add an article

the community

show examples

Correct subject-verb agreement

are

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recieving

Correct your spelling

receiving

moderate pay.

To begin

Linking Words

with, one of the major reasons for

this

Linking Words

trend is the shift in modern consumerism and its

consequence

Fix the agreement mistake

consequences

show examples

This

Linking Words

means the celebrities are being used as advertising property by the

commerical

Correct your spelling

commercial

markets. Because of

Linking Words

this

Add a comma

this,

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these individual starts to get more

identfied

Correct your spelling

identified

by the public, eventually followed by the fans or

paparazzis

Correct your spelling

paparazzi

show examples

For example

Linking Words

, famous singer

Jutin

Correct your spelling

Justin

Biber

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apply

show examples

has known to suffer extreme fan craze and paparazzi culture to

this

Linking Words

day.

Consequently

Linking Words

, these people get more pay for

lack

Correct article usage

the lack

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of privacy and security in their lives.

Additionaly

Correct your spelling

Additionally

, the revenue created by

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

celebrities are really high, so it is reasonable for them to have

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

hard-earned money.

On the other hand

Linking Words

, the workers who are extremely vital to

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society are struggling to obtain a decent salary package. Especially, the teachers and medical professionals, who are serving the community

Change preposition

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the frontline are neglected by the authorities, when it comes to

pay

Change the verb form

paying

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. An example to understand

current

Add an article

the current

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situation is the Australian Police's strike against the government for better pay. Because of the mistreatment individuals who

Add a missing verb

are employeed

show examples

employeed

Correct your spelling

employed

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

significant duties may step down, furethermore, it can

incraese

Correct your spelling

increase

the

unemployement

Correct your spelling

unemployment

rates

as well as

Linking Words

decrease work

force

Correct your spelling

workforce

show examples

in these professions. In conclusion, the disparity of payment between

celebrirties

Correct your spelling

celebrities

and people who works for

community's

Correct article usage

the community's

show examples

welfare can create a societal imbalance. The payment for sports and entertainment superstars is the reflection of society's fascination and admiration for those figures.

Nevertheless

Linking Words

, the government need to

rise

Correct your spelling

raise

show examples

the funding for public service employees to maintain the workforce,

otherwise

Linking Words

can decline

due to

Linking Words

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

finacial

Correct your spelling

financial

insecurity and burnout.

ayanamurali25Mon Feb 24 2025

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task achievement

Ensure that your thesis statement clearly outlines your main points. This will give your essay a stronger directional focus.

coherence and cohesion

Improve the clarity of ideas in some sentences to enhance comprehension. Make sure your points are explicit and easy to follow.

task achievement

Use a more formal tone throughout the essay, especially in the introduction and conclusion. Avoid slang and overly casual language.

task achievement

The essay addresses the prompt and provides an opinion, showing an attempt to engage with the topic.

task achievement

The use of examples, such as the case of Justin Bieber and the Australian Police strike, helps illustrate your points effectively.

coherence and cohesion

The structure is clear, with a defined introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion.

10
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
36
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

323 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

revenue
salaries
endorsements
cultural fascination
market-oriented
financial investments
wage levels
public services
government funding
societal imbalance
aspirational careers
economic value
ticket sales
merchandise
broadcasting rights
popular demand

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Memorising facts is the most important way to succeed in education. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Wealthy nations should assist poorer countries with humanitarian relief during natural disasters. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Smoking not only harms the smoker but also those who are nearby, there fore smoking should be banned in public places. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

You have recently missed a project deadline which resulted in your company losing an important client. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter apologise for what happened explain why you missed the deadline tell him/her how you will avoid this situation in future.