IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 8

Completing university education is thought by some to be the best way to get a good job. On the other hand, other people think that getting experience and developing soft skills is more important. Discuss both sides and give your opinion

#university #education #job #hand #people #skills
Many are of the view that going to university provides the most effective method for getting a reputable task, others believe that having valuable experience and skills holds greater value. In my opinion, the synthesis of both of them is a coherent decision. On the one hand, some people completely suggest that passing graduate school is the finest path in order to get a nice job.
In other words
, they spend much time learning theoretical skills and reading others' experiences. A good example of
this
 would be Nicola Tesla who had a nice occupation, he immersed himself in books and went to distinct universities,
due to
 discovering electricity and expanding it
as well as
 inventing some formulas he became one of the affluent men and was manager of several companies, next he spent all of his money in order to discover and invent something else.
Although
 going to university and being a knowledgeable person can be a benefit, it is not surely, because, you should find a job
that is
 relevant to your area of specialization.
On the other hand
, having valuable experience and devoting time to learning interactive techniques can be more effective,
instead
 of going to college,
such
 as body language, how to communicate and how to be successful in a trade discussion. There are countless examples of individuals who do not go to university and have a good occupation even if they have a powerful authority. A striking example of
this
 is Richard Branson. He didn’t study, In fact, he resigned from the school, and
then
 he founded over 100 companies in order to trade. He found that he had a good ability to establish a close bond and communicate with others,
instead
 of studying and going to graduate school. All in all, as can be seen from the points in
this
 essay, you need to weigh up both viewpoints to realize what kind of them is suitable for you. It seems to me that having a synthesis of a college certificate and playing a role as an apprentice and getting experience and technique is a coherent decision rather than choosing one of them, they are fundamental equally.
Submitted by hoseinyasemi.ir on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction
Ensure a clear thesis statement is presented in the introduction to guide the reader through your argument.
Task Response
To enhance task achievement, try to more explicitly state your own opinion and ensure it is consistently referenced throughout the essay.
Task Achievement
When giving examples, make sure they directly support your argument. This strengthens your task achievement score by making your points clearer and more persuasive.
Coherence & Cohesion
Work on varying sentence structures and using a wider range of vocabulary to improve the coherence and cohesion of your essay.
Examples
Integrate examples more seamlessly into your argument, making sure they clearly support your main points.
Balanced Discussion
Your essay effectively covers both sides of the argument, providing a balanced discussion.
Conclusion
The conclusion summarily reflects the discussion and reiterates your opinion, which is good for both task achievement and coherence.
Linking and coherence
You have used linking phrases effectively to connect ideas, which aids the reader's understanding and the flow of the essay.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • theoretical knowledge
  • specialized training
  • networking
  • baseline requirement
  • financial burden
  • hands-on experience
  • practical skills
  • soft skills
  • dynamic job market
  • entrepreneur
  • formal education
  • portfolio
  • hybrid approach
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!