IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

You are having a graduation party next Sunday evening. You have invited over 25 people to celebrate in your garden, which may continue late in to the night. Write a letter to your elderly neighbour. In your letter: Explain what will be happening, offer him your apologies in advance, invite him to join the celebration

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Dear Mr jay, I hope you are doing well and here I want to invite you
a
Change preposition
to a
show examples
get-together
party
Use synonyms
in
Change preposition
apply
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on Sunday evening which
organised
Add a missing verb
was organised
show examples
 in my garden by me basically I completed my bachelor
that is
Linking Words
 why I invited you.
In
Change preposition
At
show examples
this
Linking Words
Use synonyms
party
Add a comma
party,
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 I organised a dinner for refreshments and a singing competition with my friends
moreover
Linking Words
,will play some games.I arranged a
bonefire
Correct your spelling
bonfire
 over there I hope you will enjoy at
this
Linking Words
 time .
Furthermore
Linking Words
,I would do confess
you
Change preposition
to you
show examples
 that I and my friends will
doing
Change the verb form
do
be doing
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 all these activities
Linking Words
this
Correct word choice
so this
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noice
Correct your spelling
noise
 disturb you.I will try to finish
this
Linking Words
 quickly. If you
did
Wrong verb form
do
show examples
 not mind you would like to join
my
Change the pronoun
the
show examples
party
Use synonyms
 that I arranged.I will feel honoured if you join us.you came and enjoyed
my
Change the pronoun
the
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 meal that I put in
this
Linking Words
party
Use synonyms
 and
also
Linking Words
 joined the
bonefire
Correct your spelling
bonfire
 late
night
Change preposition
at night
show examples
. Thank you for
being
Verb problem
spending
show examples
 your time. Yours sincerely, Rabia Rizwan.

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coherence and cohesion
Consider structuring your letter more clearly by separating distinct ideas into their own paragraphs. For example, you could have one paragraph explaining the party details and another addressing your neighbor's potential disturbance.
task achievement
Ensure you use proper grammar and punctuation. For instance, phrases like 'you would like to join my party that I arranged' could be simplified to 'you would like to join the party' for clarity.
task achievement
Make sure to apologize more clearly at the beginning regarding the potential noise during the party, so your neighbor knows you are being considerate of their feelings.
positive aspect
Your invitation and warm tone show friendliness and consideration, which is important in such a letter.
positive aspect
You included activities planned for the party, which gives a good sense of what to expect.
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