IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The first chart below shows how energy is used in an average Australian household. The second chart shows the greenhouse gas emissions which result from this energy use. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The first pie chart depicts the
energy
Use synonyms
 consumption in
average
Add an article
the average
an average
show examples
 household in Australia,
while
Linking Words
 the second chart illustrates the greenhouse gas
emissions
Use synonyms
 that come from
this
Linking Words
energy
Use synonyms
 consumption.
Overall
Linking Words
,
while
Linking Words
 heating and
water
Use synonyms
 heating account for a significant proportion of
energy
Use synonyms
 use,most greenhouse gas
emissions
Use synonyms
 result from
water
Use synonyms
 heating and other apparatus. heating and
water
Use synonyms
 heating are
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
 largest uses of
energy
Use synonyms
,at 42 and 30
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 of the gross respectively.
other
Capitalize word
Other
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 appliances consume another 15 %,which is about twice as high as the percentage of
energy
Use synonyms
 used for refrigeration.The
ration
Correct your spelling
ratio
show examples
 of
energy
Use synonyms
 consumed for lighting and cooling
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 both very small,at 4 and 2
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 respectively.
water
Use synonyms
 heating is
also
Linking Words
 a major source of greenhouse gas
emissions
Use synonyms
, making up almost a third of total
emissions
Use synonyms
.The second-largest amount of
emissions
Use synonyms
comes
Change the verb form
come
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 from other utilities,at 28 %
ofthe
Correct your spelling
of the
 total.Heating,
suprisingly
Correct your spelling
surprisingly
,is only responsible for 15
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of total
emissions
Use synonyms
,and
this
Linking Words
 figure is roughly the same as that for
refrigerastion
Correct your spelling
refrigeration
.The remaining 11
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 results from lighting and cooling.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words energy, emissions, water, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Average Australian household
  • Greenhouse gas emissions
  • Energy consumption
  • Activities
  • Heating
  • Cooling
  • Water heating
  • Appliances
  • Lighting
  • Standby
  • Percentage (%)
  • Consumption patterns
  • Efficiency
  • Emissions impact
  • Renewable energy
  • Energy-saving measures
  • Sustainability
  • Carbon footprint
  • Electricity
  • Natural gas
  • Emissions breakdown
  • Energy audit
  • Environmental impact
  • Conservation
  • Mitigation strategies
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