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Writing Samples
Band 5

Schools are important and vital part of people's lives. Do you agree or disagree?

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Some individuals consider that school is a necessary part of life which teaches us vital skills.
However
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, another group of people claims that self-studying is the key to an efficient education process because it gives an opportunity to spend
time
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 on only the most interesting and sufficient sides. In
this
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 essay, I’m going to review both sides and find their pros and cons. On the one hand, schools
don’t
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give
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allow
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 us to do anything and teach not only subjects but
also
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 discipline. Certain curricula which repeat every week,
don’t
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 load
students
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' minds with plan writing and focusing on the educational process. In fact, only
students
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 must absorb
information
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the information
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 given by professors.
Additionally
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, in alma maters, all information is already prepared and well structured so
students
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don’t
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 compulsory to spend
time
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 researching. Schools or university programs are oriented on
most
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the most
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 efficient remembering of material and deep understanding of the topics because were written for
along
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alone
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 by a group of professional pedagogues.
On the other hand
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, studying from a house can make more sense in cases of strong self-discipline and full understanding of own future profession.
Students
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 who learn by themself usually
don’t
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 spend
time
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 on
the
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apply
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useless topic because they are firmly sure about their personal direction of development and understand the importance of
time
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 management.
Moreover
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,
according to
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 the research, most
of
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apply
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students
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 who truly love to study usually do extra tasks at home or
don’t
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 visit any institutions at all. In fact,
instead
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 of accepting already written rule and schedule self-studying
students
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 learn with discipline by themself which could give them an advantage in adult life
due to
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 already mastered skill to adapt. Considering all the above, there is no obvious answer to the controversial topics for and against because of the comprehensive issue. Some types of study,
such
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 as studying from home, are more suitable for people who can pull themself together and really motivate
to
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them to
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 become professional.
Whereas
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, general
students
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 will be more prefer to be educated in schools or universities like everyone because it is the easiest way.

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task achievement
Your essay presents a balanced view on the topic, which is excellent. However, ensure that your arguments are more clearly articulated, and consider providing more specific examples to support your points.
coherence and cohesion
The essay could benefit from clearer transitions between ideas and paragraphs to enhance the flow. This helps the reader follow your argument more easily.
task achievement
You effectively acknowledge both sides of the argument, demonstrating a good understanding of the topic.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which is essential for coherence.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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