IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Do good results at school or college guarantee success in life? Discuss the advantages that a good education can have on your future. Do you believe that studying hard will bring a better life?

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Education is highly crucial for shaping someone's entire career and living a quality
life
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. If
students
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 are performing excellently in academics.
Consequently
Linking Words
, they have a bright future by having more employment opportunities and ameliorated soft skills which are essential to making decisions in
life
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.
However
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, education isn't only the phenomenon of having a high standard of living, as the importance of other factors
such
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 as recreational activities cannot be overlooked.
To begin
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 with, it is believed that
strong
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a strong
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 academic background makes people more knowledgeable in their field which is the key factor to getting a well-suited job and having significant growth in their career within a short passage of time. To be more specific, high grades and proper degree holders always have the advantage to step forward towards their dream job
comparatively
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compared
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 to the average
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students
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student
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.
Moreover
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, the theoretical part gives valuable information that can be utilised to complete the task effectively and efficiently as well.
For instance
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, aspiring
students
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 to become IAS or IPS officers in India are supposed to study almost 7-8 hours to clear the toughest exam. It makes that student
all-rounder
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an all-rounder
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 by having knowledge of
the
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apply
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almost every sector.
As a result
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, they become eligible to acquire one of the most prestigious jobs of
officer
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officers
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 with a high wage scale.
However
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, academic success is one of the main elements of having a better
life
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 but indulging in other recreational activities like sports or physical exercises is equally important because playing some sports helps in the holistic development of pupils. When the brain gets tired by investing more of its time in
studies
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, it needs a refreshment that can be done either by doing some physical exercise or by pursuing a hobby which not only enhances their concentration level but
also
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 flourishes their social skills for
overall
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 nourishment. It is more likely that
students
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 who are average in
studies
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 but have a personality to connect well with other folks. They live their
life
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 with more happiness and positivity.
For example
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, sports players who pursue their careers in games. They
also
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 live there with all the amenities that are required for high standards of living despite being mediocre
students
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 in their
studies
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. In conclusion, a balanced approach is required to follow to have a successful career in future. All learners have different kinds of learning capabilities and only relying on theoretical
part
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parts
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 cannot lead to a sustainable livelihood.
Therefore
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,
students
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 who get involved in curriculum activities
along with
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studies
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 and get exposure to other things in society have high chances of positive growth and becoming civilised persons in society.

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task achievement
Your introduction effectively addresses the prompt and lays out the main arguments. However, consider refining your thesis statement to make your position clearer in relation to the question about whether good results guarantee success.
coherence and cohesion
While the essay has a logical flow, some transitions between ideas could be smoother. For instance, try to use linking words or phrases more frequently to guide the reader through your arguments.
task achievement
You provided specific examples to support your points, but consider integrating them more fluidly into your arguments. They should reinforce your claims rather than appear as standalone statements.
task achievement
Your essay addresses both sides of the argument, showing a well-rounded understanding of the topic, which is commendable.
task achievement
The use of examples, such as IAS and IPS examinations, adds credibility to your points and helps to illustrate your arguments effectively.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • academic performance
  • higher education
  • advanced degrees
  • specialized careers
  • critical thinking skills
  • problem-solving
  • networking opportunities
  • connections
  • job prospects
  • salary
  • job stability
  • quality of life
  • discipline
  • time management
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