In some countries, more and more adults are continuing to live with their parents even after they have completed their education and found jobs. Do the advatages outweigh the disadvantages

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The trend of mature individuals living with their
parents
Use synonyms
are keep
Wrong verb form
keeps
show examples
going in many countries to
this
Linking Words
day.
While
Linking Words
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
there are benefits to
this
Linking Words
out-dated
Correct your spelling
outdated
show examples
system, I strongly believe that
disadvantages
Correct pronoun usage
its disadvantages
show examples
outweigh its advantages.
This
Linking Words
essay will explore various scenarios of the topic and demonstrate my viewpoint with a logical narration.
To begin
Linking Words
with, one of the major drawbacks of
this
Linking Words
trend is
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
dependency.
This
Linking Words
means, living under one roof with own
parents
Use synonyms
can create a comfort zone for individuals both financially and environmentally.
Eventhough
Correct your spelling
Even
,
it
Correct word choice
though it
show examples
can be seen as a positive outcome,
this
Linking Words
could lead to negligence of personal development.
For example
Linking Words
, an individual living with
parents
Use synonyms
will not be concerned about the house chores or food, since
parents
Use synonyms
are there
for
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to look after them. The easy access to all these essential things will make the person more dependable, than independent.
Furethermore
Correct your spelling
Furthermore
,
this
Linking Words
shift can
also
Linking Words
effect
Correct your spelling
affect
show examples
the
realtionships
Correct your spelling
relationships
adversly
Correct your spelling
adversely
. Despite the
advanatges
Correct your spelling
advantages
, the age gap can
drive
Verb problem
lead
show examples
to constant disagreements and arguments with
parents
Use synonyms
, which can create harmful
damages
Fix the agreement mistake
damage
show examples
to the
realtionships
Correct your spelling
relationships
. If
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
the
realtions
Correct your spelling
relations
reactions
are not maintained appropriately, the effects can be detrimental and irreversible. To illustrate, many news
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
surfaced with
violence
Replace the word
violent
show examples
acts against and by
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
parents
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
heated arguments with their own children, regarding
invasion
Add an article
the invasion
show examples
of privacy.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is crucial for people to maintain
a proper balanced living habits
Correct the article-noun agreement
a proper balanced living habit
proper balanced living habits
show examples
in
th
Correct your spelling
the
adult phase. In conclusion,
it is clear that
Linking Words
sharing
house
Add an article
a house
the house
show examples
with family after adulting can have numerous unfavourable effects.
Hence
Linking Words
, in my
opinion
Add the comma(s)
opinion,
show examples
advanatges
Correct your spelling
advantages
of
this
Linking Words
trend outweigh the disadvantages. It is essential for young individuals to understand the significance of self-sufficiency in order to develop and grow as a better person.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
Consider revising your thesis statement for clarity and ensuring it reflects your viewpoint more strongly. Try to explicitly state that disadvantages outweigh the advantages in the introduction.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that outlines the main point of that paragraph. This will help improve the logical structure of your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to proofread your essay for grammatical errors and typos, which can detract from the overall quality, such as 'are keep going' instead of 'is continuing'.
task achievement
Expand on your examples to provide more depth and relevance to your arguments, which can enhance the clarity and comprehensiveness of your ideas.
coherence and cohesion
You present a clear viewpoint and structure your arguments logically throughout the essay, which helps guide the reader.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the topic well and attempts to explore both sides of the argument before concluding with your opinion.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • economic benefits
  • financial stability
  • emotional support
  • companionship
  • mental health
  • familial obligation
  • strengthen family bonds
  • shared responsibilities
  • household duties
  • cultural influences
  • independence
  • transitional period
  • living expenses
  • career development
  • residential arrangements
What to do next:
Look at other essays: