IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In the future, all cars, buses, and trucks will be driverless. The only people travelling inside these vehicles will be passengers. Do you think the advantages of driverless vehicles outweigh the disadvantages?

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In
this
Linking Words
 fast-paced world, individuals are busy discussing the advancement of
vehicles
Use synonyms
 in the future. Some argue that there will be an improvement in which the
vehicles
Use synonyms
 will be conducted to
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
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an
Correct article usage
apply
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auto-pilot
vehicle
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicles
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 that causes it to be occupied only by the passengers without the existence of the driver.
Although
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 phenomenon might present the modernity of our transportation in the future era, I believe that these downsides outweigh its upsides because of the level of security the former provides.
One
Correct your spelling
On
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positive
Correct article usage
the positive
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 side, people believe that driverless
vehicles
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 might show
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
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 uniqueness by navigating without the presence of the driver and it completely transformed our world
to
Change preposition
into
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 a new era of transportation. Some argue that it reflects the improvement of their former version, as we know recently drones
has
Correct subject-verb agreement
have
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 been improving to take living things to the moon. On the other side, the progress that allowed
vehicles
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 to be auto-pilot conducted leads to another negative side.
For
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instance
Add a comma
instance,
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 all bus drivers,
car
Correct word choice
and car
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 drivers including any other vehicle drivers will be jobless which leads to an increasing number of poverty.
Furthermore
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,
security
Correct article usage
the security
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 of the passenger should be considered regardless of the unpredictable navigation error that might happen. As technology rises, the percentage of
cyber crime
Correct your spelling
cybercrime
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 is well-known higher. The presence of hackers who can
diverts
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divert
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 the navigation system can
brings
Change the verb form
bring
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 another terror in the future and the
options
Fix the agreement mistake
option
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 of
manual
Change the word
manually
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 conducted will
result
Add the preposition
result in
result from
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 the convenience and security of the passengers. In conclusion,
although
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 the technology of
vehicles
Use synonyms
 might raised and developed into a better version I believe that we still have to consider the safety aspects of the passenger by the presence of the driver.

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task achievement
Try to provide a clearer thesis statement in the introduction that directly answers the question of whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure your ideas are presented in a logical order. You might want to separate your positive and negative points more clearly in distinct paragraphs.
task achievement
Include more specific examples or data to support your claims, such as statistics on job loss or instances of cyber crime related to autonomous vehicles.
task achievement
You have addressed the topic and presented both sides of the argument, which is important for a balanced essay.
coherence and cohesion
Your conclusion succinctly summarizes your viewpoint, which reinforces your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • driverless vehicles
  • advantages
  • disadvantages
  • increased safety
  • reduced traffic congestion
  • improved efficiency
  • accessibility
  • disabled
  • elderly
  • job displacement
  • privacy concerns
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