In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

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In recent years, a significant incline in obesity has been observed and it shows no signs of descent except for their

health

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. I believe the factors contributing to

this

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issue can be inferred from the increase in technological advancement for entertainment and assistance, which can still be tackled with viable solutions. With technology, many

people

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are now able to access a larger source of entertainment. Though

this

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can be used to ease stress from work, most

people

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, especially adolescents, misuse

this

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feature and spend a lot of

time

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on it.

This

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is because those instant gratifications

such

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as video games and shorts are designed to easily produce dopamine, leading to excessive

time

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spent. And since there is not much

time

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left,

fitness

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is often overlooked and replaced with these activities

instead

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Furthermore

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, most physical works our ancestors faced are currently being assisted by technology.

For instance

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, we do not need to walk for a long amount of distance anymore as vehicles like cars and buses not only are

time

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-saving

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apply

show examples

but

also

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reduce the need to use body movement.

Consequently

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this

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option is preferably chosen which results in less calorie usage and causes low levels of

fitness

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However

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, spreading awareness is capable of solving

this

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issue. With the help of social media, we can create pages and accounts that revolve around

fitness

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. Those accounts are

then

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used to motivate

people

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to participate in the gym and aim to achieve an aesthetic body. Slogans like “reject comfort, embrace discipline” have recently been going around the internet, encouraging viewers to send

this

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message to their relatives

while

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also

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following those instructions. With

this

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method, obesity can definitely be reduced with more

people

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who pay attention to their

health

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. In conclusion,

health

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and

fitness

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levels are decreasing primarily because of the

time

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wasted on technological entertainment.

Therefore

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, motivations and messages regarding

health

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issues can be spread via social media, creating a more well-functioning and fit body for humans.

shamanvn1235Tue Feb 25 2025

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task achievement

Consider providing more specific examples or data to support your points about technology's impact on obesity. This can strengthen your arguments and make them more persuasive.

coherence

Try to improve the flow between your paragraphs by using clearer transition phrases or linking words. This will enhance the overall coherence of the essay.

task achievement

Make sure to elaborate on the solutions you propose, providing more detail on how they can be implemented.

task achievement

Your introduction clearly outlines the issue and presents a thesis statement.

task achievement

You effectively identify technological advancement as a key factor contributing to obesity, which is relevant to the topic.

coherence

The conclusion summarizes the essay well and reiterates the main points.

11
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
4
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 7.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 8.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

324 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

sedentary
obesity
overweight
physical activity
sedentary lifestyle
exercise
unhealthy diet
fast food
urbanization
modernization
stress
awareness
education
government intervention
policies
promotion
sports
fitness programs
health education
taxation
public transportation
infrastructure
parks
recreational spaces

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In some countries the average weight of people is increasing and their levels of health and fitness are decreasing. What do you think are the causes of these problems and what measures could be taken to solve them?

In many countries, the level of crime is increasing and crimes are becoming more violent. Why do you think this is and what can be done about it?

In some cultures the old age is more valued, while in other cultures youth is more valued. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

In the future, the main reason for going to shopping mall will be for entertainment, not to shop. do you agree or disagree?