IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Some people say that the main environmental problem of our time is the loss of particular species of plants and animals. Others say that there are more important environmental problems. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

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Some would argue that there are more crucial
environment
Replace the word
environmental
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 issues in our
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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while
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 some say that surrounding
environment
Replace the word
environmental
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issue
Fix the agreement mistake
issues
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 only affect the
loss
Use synonyms
 of particular
species
Use synonyms
 of plants and animals.
While
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 considering the significant impact on the
loss
Use synonyms
 of particular
spieces
Correct your spelling
species
, I believe that environmental issues
such
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 as global warming,
air
Correct word choice
and air
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 pollution, are particularly crucial. On the one hand,
a
Correct word choice
if a
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species
Use synonyms
 goes extinct, it can disrupt food chains and harm the environment.
For example
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, the
loss
Use synonyms
 of bees can affect food production and plant
heath
Correct your spelling
health
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. Protecting endangered
species
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 should be treated as vital not, only
their
Change preposition
to their
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 survival but
also
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maintaining
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to maintaining
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 the health of
ecosystem
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the ecosystem
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 that
support
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supports
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 all life, including human beings.
Therefore
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, the extinction of
species
Use synonyms
 is part of a larger set of environmental problems.
On the other hand
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, the issues like global warming and pollution are even more urgent。Climate change is causing extreme weather, rising sea levels, and shifting ecosystems, which can significantly affect countless
species
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, including
human
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humans
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.
For instance
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, the
the
Remove the redundancy
apply
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severe droughts in California have been linked to climate change, affecting agriculture and water supply. So, only focusing on
species
Use synonyms
loss
Use synonyms
 may overlook these serious challenges, which could have more immediate and widespread impacts. In conclusion,
while
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 losing
species
Use synonyms
 is indeed
crucial
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a crucial
the crucial
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 environmental issue, the more concerns like climate change and pollution in our world are
more
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a more
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 urgent and challenging issue for us to take action immediately.

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task achievement
Try to enhance your thesis statement to make your position clearer right from the introduction. This will help set the stage for your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that your ideas flow logically from one to the next. Consider adding transition phrases to improve cohesion between sentences and paragraphs.
coherence and cohesion
Be cautious with spelling errors and grammatical issues, as they can detract from your overall message. For example, "spieces" should be corrected to "species" and "the the severe droughts" should be "the severe droughts".
task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt by discussing both views and presenting your opinion, fulfilling the task requirements effectively.
task achievement
You provide relevant examples, like the loss of bees and the severe droughts in California, which help illustrate your points well.
coherence and cohesion
You have a clear structure with distinct paragraphs, making it easy for the reader to follow your argument.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • extinction
  • habitat loss
  • ecosystem
  • food chain
  • imbalance
  • interconnected
  • climate change
  • pollution
  • personal actions
  • policy changes
  • education
  • awareness
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