IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In the future,more people will choose to go on holiday in their own country and not travel abroad on holiday. Do you agree or disagree?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the future,several individuals will prefer to
visit
Use synonyms
 their own nation
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 vacations rather than abroad.I completely agree with
this
Linking Words
 statement because people prefer to know about their
Use synonyms
country
Change noun form
country's
show examples
 culture and lack of money to emphasise them.I will discuss both points of view and clear in forthcoming paragraphs. First and foremost,our community would like to go
their
Change preposition
to their
show examples
 own places because they wanted to know about their culture and history.Most
easy
Replace the word
easiest
show examples
 to
travel
Use synonyms
any
Change preposition
to any
show examples
place
Use synonyms
which
Correct word choice
where
show examples
 are we comfortable
that
Correct determiner usage
The
show examples
place
Use synonyms
 is our home
country
Use synonyms
,where we would not face any difficulties
such
Linking Words
 as
,
Remove the comma
apply
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no language barriers,familiarity
from
Change preposition
with
show examples
 food and understanding
human
Change preposition
of human
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 nature.How would they feel if we discuss their living style
although
Linking Words
,we know nature and communicate easily about their customs
.
Change the punctuation
?
show examples
For example
Linking Words
,if we
travel
Use synonyms
Change preposition
to Pakistan
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Pakistan
Change noun form
Pakistan's
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 northern areas so we enjoy freely aesthetic sceneries
as well
Linking Words
as
Correct word choice
and
show examples
we
Correct your spelling
be
show examples
 aware
their
Change preposition
of their
show examples
 rules and regulations.
Instead
Linking Words
,if we go to other countries
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
a
Correct your spelling
as
show examples
 stranger we do not how to communicate with them because do not know their language.
For instance
Linking Words
,we should
visit
Use synonyms
 our local areas
this
Linking Words
 is
better
Add an article
a better
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 decision rather than under restriction other countries to
travel
Use synonyms
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,we have enough money to go any
place
Use synonyms
 in our nation,
have
Correct word choice
and have
show examples
 enough savings
according
Change preposition
for
show examples
 our trip because
major
Add an article
the major
show examples
 hurdle to
Use synonyms
travel
Wrong verb form
travelling
show examples
 any
place
Use synonyms
 is income.
we
Capitalize word
We
show examples
 can easily make plans to
visit
Use synonyms
 our adorable and well-known notion as far as limited sources are enough to justify the trip.
Hence
Linking Words
 we can book a reasonable hotel with delicious food that represents our
country
Use synonyms
 within our budget.
To sum up
Linking Words
,countless adolescents would explore their homeland in their vacations in the future
instead
Linking Words
 of other states.we should
visit
Use synonyms
 our national area to know our customs and promote
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
tourism
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the international level.we arrange the trip within our limits and enjoy
our
Change the word
the
show examples
 unique side scenic views in our
country
Use synonyms
.

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task achievement
Improve the introduction by providing clearer context and a more structured thesis statement. Avoid phrases like 'several individuals' and make it more assertive.
coherence and cohesion
Enhance coherence by ensuring logical progression between sentences and ideas. Use linking words to connect thoughts more fluidly.
task achievement
Develop your main points further with more detailed examples and explanations to enrich your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Refine conclusion to succinctly summarize your main arguments, providing a stronger final message.
task achievement
You have identified relevant points that support your argument about exploring one's own country.
task achievement
Your essay reflects a genuine perspective on domestic travel and the reasons behind it, which is commendable.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • domestic tourism
  • international travel
  • cultural exchange
  • national pride
  • affordability
  • convenience
  • ecotourism
  • heritage sites
  • local businesses
  • comfort zone
What to do next:
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