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Band 5.5

Some college freshmen find that courses they choose are not suitable for them. What are the causes of this? What can be done to solve the problem?

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More and more college freshmen nowadays regret the
courses
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 they have chosen in their curriculum.
This
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 essay will present some of the causes of
this
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 phenomenon and propose ways to attack
this
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 serious issue.
To begin
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 with, students choosing
courses
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along with
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 their
friends
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 is a very common case. To be more precise, it has been noticed that a large number of university freshmen take the same
courses
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 as their
friends
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.
This
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 is among the most serious causes why teenagers find out that the subjects they choose are either appealing or useful to them.
Furthermore
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, another important reason why
this
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 phenomenon has increasingly been noticed lately is because young people are not properly guided to make the right choices. In some cases, they are even misled into options that are not suitable for them.
Therefore
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, it is vital to find ways
into guiding
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to guide
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 freshments to follow their own path. What I mean is that it is very crucial to encourage teenagers to choose their favourite subjects and not force them to attend classes that are not for them.
Moreover
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, we should
pursue
Verb problem
encourage
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 them to choose based on the path they want to follow in the future and not based on their
friends
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' decisions. It is the duty of both parents and school to bring them
into
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on
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 the right path if necessary in order to be able to reach their full potential and achieve their goals in the future. All in all, the issue of freshmen taking the wrong
courses
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 has increased in popularity. The primary
causes
Fix the agreement mistake
cause
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 of
this
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 problem is teenagers being affected by their
friends
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 and being misguided
from
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by
show examples
 their surroundings.
Consequently
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, in order to change these situations it is highly significant to pursue them to follow their own dreams and not force them to attend
courses
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 which are not found interesting by them. Both
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
 and parents should cooperate in order for
this
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 phenomenon to be minimized.

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task achievement
Consider giving more specific examples to support your claims about students choosing courses based on friends' influence or lack of guidance. Real-life scenarios or statistics could strengthen your argument.
coherence and cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph contains a clear topic sentence that states the main idea, making it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
coherence and cohesion
In your conclusion, summarize the main points more succinctly and restate the importance of addressing the issue in a clearer manner. This will reinforce your argument.
coherence and cohesion
You clearly identified the causes of the issue and provided a structured solution, which is commendable. Your essay flows logically from introduction to conclusion, making it easy to follow.
task achievement
Your use of varied sentence structures and vocabulary demonstrates a good command of the language, contributing positively to your overall writing quality.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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