Some people say that the government should not put money on building theatres and sports stadiums. They should spend more money on medical care and education. Do you agree or disagree?

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In recent years, the impact of
government
Use synonyms
expenditure has been widely debated. Some individuals believe that there should be
limitation
Add an article
a limitation
show examples
on investing in
entertainment
Add an article
the entertainment
show examples
industry by
Use synonyms
government
Correct article usage
the government
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, and
instead
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, healthcare and education should be
prioritize
Wrong verb form
prioritised
show examples
.
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Although health
Correct word choice
Health
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and education are vital
part
Fix the agreement mistake
parts
show examples
of human life, as they offer
well being
Add a hyphen
well-being
show examples
and
educated
Correct article usage
an educated
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generation. I strongly disagree
the
Change preposition
with the
show examples
need
for neglecting
Change preposition
to neglect
show examples
other sectors,
such
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as theatres and
sports
Use synonyms
, because, they generate
income
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for the
country
Use synonyms
and
also
Linking Words
motivate people to exercise.
This
Linking Words
essay will analyze these benefits in detail. A key benefit associated with entertainment investment is
income
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generated. Theatres and
sports
Use synonyms
statdiums
Correct your spelling
stadiums
stadium
can benefit a
country
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's
income
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through taxation and international competitions.
This
Linking Words
is because
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
many people find solace in these activities and pay any amount to watch. A clear example of
this
Linking Words
is seen in the 2022
football world cup
Correct your spelling
Football World Cup
show examples
in
qatar
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Qatar
show examples
, Despite the expenses
in
Change preposition
of
show examples
building the stadium, the profits gained
afterward
Change the spelling
afterwards
show examples
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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significant.
Therefore
Linking Words
, it is evident that
enteratinments
Correct your spelling
entertainment
entertainments
has
a positive effects
Correct the article-noun agreement
a positive effect
positive effects
show examples
on a
country
Use synonyms
as
whole
Correct article usage
a whole
show examples
.
In addition
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, activities
such
Linking Words
as
sport
Fix the agreement mistake
sports
show examples
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
also
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affects
Change the verb form
affect
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society in a positive way. Because, when
government
Use synonyms
spend more money on
sports
Use synonyms
,
this
Linking Words
motivates citizens to view the importance of these activities,
Linking Words
as
Correct word choice
and as
show examples
a consequence, will be motivated to practice and exercise more.
For example
Linking Words
,
sports
Use synonyms
facilities in a
country
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highlight the
needs
Fix the agreement mistake
need
show examples
for exercising and being healthy, which can prevent some common diseases,
such
Linking Words
as obesity and cardiovascular diseases.
Therefore
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,
sport
Change the noun form
sports
show examples
centres should be essential in
Use synonyms
government
Add an article
the government
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budget.
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Although
Correct word choice
However
show examples
, one cannot overlook the importance of medical care and education,
due to
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their ability to maintain
individuals
Fix the agreement mistake
individual
show examples
health, and promote
healthy
Add an article
a healthy
show examples
society, which is a crucial aspect of human life. In conclusion, despite medical centres and educational investment has it's benefit, on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society by providing welfare. It is important to note that entertainment
infraustructure
Correct your spelling
infrastructure
boostnational
Correct your spelling
boost national
income
Use synonyms
and
encourage
Correct subject-verb agreement
encourages
show examples
people to
Use synonyms
sports
Add a missing verb
do sports
show examples
.
Nevertheless
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, governments and policymakers should focus on
balance
Add an article
the balance
a balance
show examples
between every sector, in order to maintain
healthy
Correct article usage
a healthy
show examples
and happy community.

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coherence and cohesion
Consider using clearer topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph to strengthen your logical flow. This will help the reader understand the main point of each section better.
coherence and cohesion
Some sentences could be restructured for clarity and correctness. For instance, ensure verb forms and prepositions are used accurately to convey your ideas more effectively.
task achievement
Explore more in-depth examples to support your arguments, particularly regarding the economic benefits of sports and entertainment.
task achievement
Ensure a comprehensive conclusion that reiterates the main arguments of your essay and the importance of finding a balance between different sectors.
task achievement
Your introduction clearly states your position and sets the stage for the discussion.
task achievement
You provide relevant points about the benefits of entertainment and sports investment, which aligns well with the prompt.
task achievement
You effectively acknowledge the counterargument regarding healthcare and education, which adds depth to your discussion.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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