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Writing Samples
Band 7

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the number of shops that closed and the number of new shops that opened in one country between 2011 and 2018. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
The graph displays
amount
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the amount
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 of shop closings and commencements between 2011 and 2018.
Overall
Linking Words
,
openings
Use synonyms
 and closures have various
indicators
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
 different periods.The maximum number of commencements was in 2011,
in contrast
Linking Words
,the minimum amount of closings was in 2015.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,their
numbers
Use synonyms
 were close to each other in 2014.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
indicators
Use synonyms
 of
openings
Use synonyms
 fluctuated between 8500 and 3000. its
numbers
Use synonyms
 decreased dramatically compared to
openings
Use synonyms
 in 2011:8500 amounts.Commencements
upwarded
Correct your spelling
increased
 to 6000 from 4000,during
2012
Correct article usage
the 2012
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-2014 period.Between 2015 and 2017,
openings
Use synonyms
 almost had the same
indicators
Use synonyms
 approximately
by
Change preposition
apply
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4000.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown,the number of closings fluctuated between 6400 and 5100,but it encountered different
indicators
Use synonyms
 during a given period.
For instance
Linking Words
,from 2011 to 2014
its
Change the word
the
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 amounts exposed slightly
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
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 and
decrease
Wrong verb form
decreased
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.Its
numbers
Use synonyms
 were 6000,7100 and 6500,respectively.
Additionally
Linking Words
,the closures almost remained stable from 2016 to 2018.Their maximum was 7100 in 2013 and its
numbers
Use synonyms
 only fell down once time under 1000 amounts in 2015 approximately by 800.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words openings, indicators, numbers with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "fluctuated" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • retail landscape
  • net growth
  • market dynamics
  • economic indicators
  • fluctuations
  • pivotal
  • consumption patterns
  • e-commerce
  • brick-and-mortar
  • downward/upward trend
  • stabilize
  • recession
  • boom
  • retail sector
  • closure rate
  • inauguration/opening rate
  • consumer market
  • saturate
  • commercial viability
  • profitability
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