IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

In many parts of the world, people are choosing to have fewer children. Why do you think this is happening? What impacts may it have on society?

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It
can be
Wrong verb form
is
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 clear that in several
countries
Use synonyms
 more and more couples prefer to have fewer
children
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 or even do not have
children
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 at all rather
Linking Words
then
Replace the word
than
show examples
 to be a classic big family.
Such
Linking Words
trend
Correct article usage
a trend
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 can be connected with changed life
priority
Fix the agreement mistake
priorities
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at
Change preposition
in
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the
Correct article usage
apply
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countries
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 with a high standard of living and
in
Change preposition
at
show examples
 the same time because of
difficult
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the difficult
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 political situation in
another
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another country
other countries
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countries
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.
This
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assay
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essay
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 will extend both possible reasons and give my opinion
what
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on what
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 aftermaths it may lead to in the future. Currently, the level of living
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has increase
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increase
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increased
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 in general and now people have more
oportunity
Correct your spelling
opportunities
 for personal
growing
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growth
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instead
Linking Words
 of limiting
yourself
Correct pronoun usage
themselves
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 by only bringing
children
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 up. Nowadays the number of young
persons
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people
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 who choose
getting
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to get
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education
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an education
the education
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 and a good job
more
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is more
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Linking Words
then
Correct your spelling
than
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 young couples
planing
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planning
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 to
birth
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a
Change preposition
to a
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firstborn. It is especially notable in
such
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nation
Fix the agreement mistake
nations
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 with high
level
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levels
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 of living as
Japanes
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Japanese
Japan
, Germany,
The
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apply
show examples
Great
Britan
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Britain
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 and so on. The
postponing
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postponement of
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 starting a family in
this
Linking Words
country
Use synonyms
cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
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decrease
Correct article usage
a decrease
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birth
Use synonyms
 rate and
number
Correct article usage
the number
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 of
children
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 in
family
Add an article
the family
a family
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.
In contrast
Linking Words
, falling
of
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in
show examples
level
Correct article usage
the level
show examples
 of living
is leading
Wrong verb form
leads
show examples
 to the same result. Right now a lot of
countries
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 are engulfed in war or a difficult political situation. In
such
Linking Words
Correct article usage
an environment
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environment
Add a comma
environment,
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 it is
imposible
Correct your spelling
impossible
 to plan anything including a birthing child. For
instant
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instance
show examples
, in Ukraine and
Russia
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Russia,
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 the
population
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decrease
Wrong verb form
decreased
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 not only
due to
Linking Words
 war
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 but
also
Linking Words
 because of the decline in the
birth
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 rate. In
this
Linking Words
 case, young men are dying or leaving the
country
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 and
woman
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women
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 and old
beople
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people
 are
becaming
Correct your spelling
becoming
 the majority of
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population
Add an article
the population
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, that
couse
Correct your spelling
cause
oldering
Correct your spelling
soldering
ordering
 nation and
redusing
Correct your spelling
reducing
 citizens. In
future
Add a comma
future,
show examples
 the number of
taxpayer
Fix the agreement mistake
taxpayers
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 and working people will fall and create more problems for
economy
Add an article
the economy
show examples
. In conclusion, the decreasing
of
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apply
show examples
birth
Use synonyms
 rate can happen
due to
Linking Words
 either prosperous or grave
situation
Fix the agreement mistake
situations
show examples
 in a
country
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. Regardless of the reason,
birth
Use synonyms
 denial is resulting in
falling
Correct article usage
a falling
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of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
population
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
, in
general
Add the comma(s)
general,
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 the
world
Change noun form
world's
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 human
population
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 is huge, its decline in a particular
country
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 affects the economy. Government should deal
Linking Words
this
Change preposition
with this
show examples
 problem based on reasons.

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coherence and cohesion
Try to improve the logical flow of your paragraphs. Ensure each paragraph has a clear main idea and that your arguments are systematically developed.
coherence and cohesion
Use more linking words and cohesive devices to enhance the clarity of your essay. Phrases such as 'for example', 'on the other hand', and 'in addition' can help strengthen transitions between ideas.
task achievement
Expand on your ideas with more specific examples and explanations to support your claims more robustly.
task achievement
Your essay addresses the prompt well and discusses two distinct reasons for the trend of having fewer children.
task achievement
Your use of examples from various countries demonstrates a good awareness of global contexts surrounding this issue.
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