IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

.Some people think that there should be some strict controls about noise. Others think that they could just make as much noise as they want. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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It is considered by some
people
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 that, there should be some restrictions to control
noise
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,
while
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other
Fix the agreement mistake
others
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 want that, there should be freedom as they can create
noise
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 whenever they want .
This
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 essay will discuss both
the
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apply
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viewpoints, and I firmly believe that
,
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apply
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noise
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 should be controlled. To commence with the
persepective
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perspective
, which is
hold
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held
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 by the
people
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 who want
freedom
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the freedom
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 to create
noise
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.The first and foremost reason is that
,
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apply
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 It is best to reduce boredom and stress .To explain it, some
people
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 feel negative and alone in
silent
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a silent
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 ambience and, when
people
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 communicate with other individuals without any
noise
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 restrictions,It may feel more
joyable
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enjoyable
 and entertaining for them.
For instance
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 ,
According to
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the
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a
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 survey conducted by Oxford
university
Capitalize word
University
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, 70%
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people
Change preposition
of people
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 prefer to stay in noisy
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
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 rather than to stay in calm places to decrease their stress and burden.
Therfore
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Therefore
, It helps to reduce their daily routine boredom and depression.
Further
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 shifting towards the viewpoint that,
noise
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 should be controlled. The reason is that
,
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apply
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it can reduce the diseases, which are
occurred
Verb problem
caused
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 by
the
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apply
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noise
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 pollution.
In other words
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,
Noise
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 pollution is increasing day by day
due to
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 some human activities, and
people
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 are facing some
noise
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 ailments like
as
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apply
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dumbness and irritation.
For instance
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,
according to
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the
Correct article usage
a
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 survey conducted by Oxford University, 65%
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people
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of people
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 are facing problems
due to
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 excessive
noise
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 created by
people
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such
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 as
,
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apply
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 loud music ,horns and so on.
However
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, if there should be
restictions
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restrictions
 on
people
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 , it would
helpful
Add a missing verb
be helpful
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 to tackle some ear problems and could reduce irritation among
people
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. In conclusion,
Although
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 control
on
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of
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noise
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 can reduce ear ailments and irritation among
people
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 ,
but
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apply
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freedom to create
noicse
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noise
 can
benefiacial
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be beneficial
 to
reduce
Wrong verb form
reducing
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bordome
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boredom
 and stress.

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task achievement
Enhance your introduction by clearly stating your opinion and summarizing the main points that will be discussed.
coherence and cohesion
Work on improving the flow of ideas and ensure smooth transitions between sentences and paragraphs.
task achievement
Use more varied and relevant examples to support your arguments.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure to correct minor grammatical errors to enhance clarity and professionalism.
task achievement
Addresses both views clearly, presenting reasons for both sides of the argument.
coherence and cohesion
The essay concludes with a summary that reflects both perspectives, which is a positive aspect.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • noise pollution
  • quality of life
  • noise levels
  • stress
  • disturb sleep
  • imposing legal restrictions
  • peaceful living environment
  • tolerance levels
  • personal freedom
  • business operations
  • designated quiet zones
  • commercial and industrial zones
  • urban areas
  • public awareness campaigns
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