Societies would benefit from a ban on all forms of advertising because it serves no useful purpose, and can even be damaging. Do you agree or disagree?

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In the modern era, an advertisement has become increasingly prevalent for many people. It is believed by some people that it would be fruitful for the community if there
will be
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were
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no
advertisement
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advertisements
show examples
as it is not beneficial. Even,
this
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can
also
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affect the mindsets of
indivisuals
Correct your spelling
individuals
in
wrong
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the wrong
a wrong
show examples
way. If pondered, I firmly agree with
this
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notion. My justification will be elaborated
further
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. There are a plethora of negative consequences for having
adds
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ads
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. One of the most prominent is
that
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the
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pessimistic impact on children's
mind
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minds
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. To elaborate
further
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, if the toddler will see various
advertise
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advertisements
show examples
related to food and attire, they will pester their
gurdians
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guardians
about eating which can cause serious health
risk
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risks
show examples
.
For example
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, it is a fact that
,
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apply
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kids do not have enough knowledge about what to eat and what to wear, if they will see the banner of
new
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a new
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chocolate, they will ask their parents to buy the chocolate as it looks attractive. Apart from that, an increasing number of people can save money.
Additionally
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, if the folks
are
Verb problem
do
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not
known
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know
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about the new products, they will not go to the store for shopping.
For instance
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, if the
women
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woman
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will see
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sees
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the discount
add
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added
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on make-up, she
definately
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definitely
have
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has
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desire
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a desire
the desire
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to buy that product, because of which she will
spent
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spend
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a lot of earnings which can cause financial damage.
Therefore
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, it is
must
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just
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that there will be no banner which can explain about the discount and new fashion.
Nonetheless
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, I shall not overlook the other side, too.
This
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is to say that, from the advertisement, anyone can
aware
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be aware
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about what is the ongoing
trend
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trends
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about
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in
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fashion, sales and so on. Because of
which
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this
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, everyone can buy things
with
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at
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cheaper prices.
To conclude
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, it can be
finally
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commented that despite it will be beneficial for
up to date
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up-to-date
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information about current
trend
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trends
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, my justification convinces that it will put negative emphasis on
child's
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children's
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mental health
as well as
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it will utilize an immense amount of coins
are
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that are
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logically acceptable.

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coherence and cohesion
Consider revising sentence structures for clarity and readability. Some sentences are overly complex or contain grammatical errors which may confuse readers.
task achievement
Try to provide more balanced arguments in both supporting and opposing points. A more nuanced discussion can enhance the overall argument.
task achievement
Ensure that your examples are relevant and clearly support the points you are making. For instance, clarify how certain advertisements specifically cause negative impacts or influence spending.
task achievement
Your essay presents a clear opinion from the beginning, which is essential for a strong thesis statement.
coherence and cohesion
The introduction sets the stage for your argument effectively, indicating your stance on the issue.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumer choice
  • informed decisions
  • economic growth
  • job losses
  • innovation
  • competition
  • public awareness campaigns
  • perpetuate stereotypes
  • unrealistic expectations
  • unhealthy lifestyles
  • targeted digital advertising
  • consumer privacy
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