IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

The diagrams below show the life cycle of a species of large fish called the salmon.

The diagrams below show the life cycle of a species of large fish called the salmon.
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The diagram illustrates the phases of
sea
Correct article usage
a sea
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 animal, it's called
salmon
Use synonyms
, when it was
as
Change preposition
apply
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an egg until it became an adult
salmon
Use synonyms
. It's obvious that the life cycle for
salmon
Use synonyms
 starts from being an egg and the environment contains some tiny stones and reeds,and the movement of
river
Add an article
the river
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usually
Add a missing verb
is usually
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 flawed slowly. The process continued and the
salmon
Use synonyms
 became smolt,
it
Change the pronoun
its
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 length would been 12 - 15 cm and it swam in a
fast flowing
Add a hyphen
fast-flowing
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 river. After that the
salmon
Use synonyms
 became an adult
salmon
Use synonyms
 and it lives in an open sea.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Add some linking words.
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Linking words: Add linking words.
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words salmon with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Life cycle
  • Spawning
  • Freshwater
  • Juvenile
  • Fry
  • Adaptation
  • Migration
  • Smolt
  • Rivers
  • Ocean
  • Challenge
  • Growth
  • Return journey
  • Hatching ground
  • Perilous
  • Upstream
  • Obstacle
  • Ecological impact
  • Preservation
  • Disturbance
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