IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 2.5

in modern world technology develops dramatically. some people believe that this is good for traditinoal cultures but others think it will lead to their extinction. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion give reasons for your answer and inculde any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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Introduction
Nowadays different
people
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 have different
view
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views
show examples
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on wheter
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wheter
Correct your spelling
whether
where
technology
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effects
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affects
show examples
on
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apply
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traditional cultures or not. In my opinion, there are some
effective
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effects
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 on the
culture
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however
Linking Words
, it brings a lot of
opportunitiy
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opportunity
opportunities
as well.
Body paragraph 1
On the one hand,
technology
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makes
Verb problem
apply
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blind
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blinds
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 humanity. first of all,
people
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 forget that they have a
familiy
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family
 in their life. it
redueces
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reduces
 respect against
to
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apply
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other
people
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 and it moves away
people
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 from real life. Another
way
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 that development makes
easier
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it easier
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 to grow up
child
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a child
the child
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 on the
worse
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worst
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way
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,
parents
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is parents
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itroduce
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introduce
 them
with
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to
show examples
technology
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on
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in
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the
Correct article usage
an
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 early time.
As a result
Linking Words
, we
fotget
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forget
 to be a human by
technology
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 and sometimes we believe it without any idea.
Body paragraph 2
On the other hand
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,
technology
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 brings a lot of
opportunity
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opportunities
show examples
 to
people
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for example
Linking Words
, you are able to learn
new
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about new
show examples
 cultures
by
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with
show examples
technology
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and
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apply
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also
Linking Words
, On
africa
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Africa
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 and on
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the amazon
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amazon
Capitalize word
Amazon
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people
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 still live with their own
culture
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 and they are still hunting, dressing
traditinoal
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traditional
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, Finding new information is easier about your
culture
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. You can reach
to
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apply
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all
Correct determiner usage
the
show examples
 world with
technology
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, new
network
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networks
show examples
,
new
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and new
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 opportunities.
Conclusion
the fact is that development should be
best
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the best
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way
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 to improve yourself, if you use it
on
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in
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
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 good
way
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 it will increase your
culture
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 and open new doors
on
Change preposition
in
show examples
 your life.

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task achievement
Make sure to clearly state your views in a well-defined thesis statement. This improves task achievement by helping the reader understand your perspective right from the start.
coherence and cohesion
Use paragraphs more effectively by separating ideas clearly. Each paragraph should focus on a single point and begin with a topic sentence.
task achievement
Expand on your examples to provide more clarity. For instance, instead of just mentioning learning new cultures through technology, give a specific example of a platform or tool.
task achievement
You presented a balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument, which is essential in an IELTS essay.
task achievement
You included personal opinions and reflections, which adds depth to your writing and shows engagement with the topic.
Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »- a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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