IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Many people think cheap air travel should be encouraged because it gives ordinary people freedom to travel further.Howeverothers think this leads to environmental problems, so air trave should be more expensive in order to discourage people from travelling by air.Discuss both sides an give your own opinion.

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While
Linking Words
 some
people
Use synonyms
 argue
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
plane
Use synonyms
transportation
Use synonyms
cheaper
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
would bring
the
Correct article usage
apply
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freedom for the
passengers
Use synonyms
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
others think the
price
Use synonyms
 of air
travel
Use synonyms
 must be more expensive to minimize the
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
 effect, so they should discourage
people
Use synonyms
using
Change preposition
from using
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 it. I understood the notion
about
Change preposition
that
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 the low
price
Use synonyms
 of air
transportation
Use synonyms
have
Change the verb form
has
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advantage
Add an article
an advantage
the advantage
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 for the folk.
However
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, the safety parameter is the number one for
this
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services
Fix the agreement mistake
service
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 and the low
price
Use synonyms
 can not sacrifice
this
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 figure. On the one hand, the
plane
Use synonyms
 companies who provide low prices would get
a
Remove the article
apply
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good feedback from the
passengers
Use synonyms
especially
Add the comma(s)
, especially
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 for them with low income. They
also
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 could earn affordable prices to
travel
Use synonyms
 to their favourite places and split their
minimun
Correct your spelling
minimum
 budget to enjoy their
intenary
Correct your spelling
itinerary
.
For instance
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, when
people
Use synonyms
travel
Use synonyms
 to
another places
Replace the adjective
another place
other places
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with
Change preposition
by
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plane
Use synonyms
, they rarely buy something in the airport because they don't have enough money. The low prices on
Use synonyms
plane
Fix the agreement mistake
planes
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 could make them
alocate thier
Correct your spelling
allocate their
 money to taste other things
such
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 as food or drink in their destination place. Those activities could make them happier because they are not only just moving around but
also
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enjoy
Wrong verb form
enjoying
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 their journey.
However
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, those benefits have
consequencies
Correct your spelling
consequences
 as the effect of reducing
Use synonyms
price
Add an article
the price
show examples
by
Change preposition
of
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plane
Use synonyms
 services.
On the other hand
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, when the
price
Use synonyms
 of
plane
Use synonyms
accomodation
Correct your spelling
accommodation
decrased
Correct your spelling
decreased
 below standard, the
travel
Use synonyms
 agents would substitute that cost from another section.
For instance
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,
Use synonyms
travel
Add an article
a travel
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 agent could increase the capacity of the
passengers
Use synonyms
 by 10 percent to subsidy the ticket cost. Eventually, the
convenient
Replace the word
convenience
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 of customers would be sacrificed because they must share their space
to
Change preposition
with
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another attenders
Replace the adjective
another attender
other attenders
show examples
. Extremely, the figure would be bad if that method is applied
repeatly
Correct your spelling
repeatedly
 and would reduce the safety. In conclusion,
although
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 the folk argue
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
plane
Use synonyms
transportation
Use synonyms
cheaper
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
would bring
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
freedom for the
passengers
Use synonyms
, it is important to minimize the
environment
Replace the word
environmental
show examples
effect
Fix the agreement mistake
effects
show examples
with
Change preposition
by
show examples
incerasing
Correct your spelling
increasing
 the
price
Use synonyms
 of ticket's
Use synonyms
plane
Fix the agreement mistake
planes
show examples
, so they should discourage
people
Use synonyms
using
Change preposition
from using
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
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. I know the idea about the low
price
Use synonyms
 of air
transportation
Use synonyms
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has
show examples
advantage
Add an article
an advantage
the advantage
show examples
 for the customers.
Conversely
Linking Words
, the safety parameter is the first purpose for
this
Linking Words
services
Fix the agreement mistake
service
show examples
 and the low
price
Use synonyms
 can not hinder
this
Linking Words
 figure.

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task achievement
Your introduction could be clearer by restating the topic and presenting both sides more explicitly. Try to rephrase the question and clearly outline what each side believes.
coherence and cohesion
Make sure each paragraph has a clear main idea that flows logically to the next. Use clear topic sentences to introduce the main idea of each paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
There are some grammar and vocabulary inaccuracies. For example, 'the price of plane accommodation decreased below standard' could be reworded to 'the price of air travel decreases below standard rates.' Consider reviewing your sentence structures and word choice for clarity and accuracy.
task achievement
You have shown an understanding of both sides of the argument, which is important for the task.
task achievement
Your examples demonstrate a good attempt to illustrate your points, which helps to support your arguments.
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