IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The graph below gives information about the number of people who smoked cigarettes in the UK between 2011 and 2021.

The graph below gives information about the number of people who smoked cigarettes in the UK between 2011 and 2021.
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The bar chart displays the numbers of cigarette smokers in the UK comparing two different
sub groups
Correct your spelling
subgroups
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 across two decades.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be clearly observed that in 2011 accounted for the highest number of smokers,
while
Linking Words
 that of the smallest
found
Add a missing verb
was found
show examples
 in 2021.
However
Linking Words
, it is interesting to note that though both groups underwent a downward trend, the figures of
men
Use synonyms
 smoking
cigarette
Fix the agreement mistake
cigarettes
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 were significantly greater than their
counterpart
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counterparts
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 throughout the given time frame. In 2011,
at
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apply
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just above 4
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millions
Change to singular
million
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Use synonyms
men
Correct your spelling
male
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 smokers reached its peak
while
Linking Words
 in 2021 it plummeted to slightly just over 1
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
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men
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. Between 2012 and 2020, the number of
men
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 who smoked
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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 relatively stable ranging from around 2-3
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millions
Change to singular
million
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 people.
Similarly
Linking Words
, for
female’s
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female
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 figures both
its
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their
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 maximum and minimum
roughly
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were roughly
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 fewer than
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
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 approximately 0.5
Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
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 people in the first and
last
Linking Words
 year.
However
Linking Words
,
during
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between
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 2012 and 2020, the number of women who smoked
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
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 smaller than
men
Use synonyms
 with
variation
Add an article
a variation
the variation
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 of between 1
-
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apply
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1.5
Correct word choice
and 1.5
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Use synonyms
millions
Change to singular
million
show examples
 people.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words men, millions with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "numbers of" was used 4 times.
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